French's International Copyrighted (in Engfland, her 

Colonies, and the United States) Edition of 

the Works of the Best Authors. 

I tJ^rnxS No. 118 | 



t 



t 



* 



1 Z^- * 

i ■ : THE I 

i TWO MR. WETHERBYS I 

* a flDt&5le=(r[ass ComeftB in Ubree Hcts * 



■* New York 

SAMUEL FRENCH 

PUBLISHER 



i 



I 



<* BY ^ 

I ST. JOHN HANKIN | 



^ "Life is a comedy to those who think, a tragedy 

^ to those who feel." ij_ 

^ HORACK WaLPOLE. ^ 

1^ ^ 

1 — ••• — ^ 

!^ Copyright, 1907, by Samuel French ^ 

I ^*^ t 

I * 

"•p CAUTION : — Professionals and AmateuoB are hereby notified ^ 

<^ that this play is fully copyrighted under the existing laws of <^ 

>€^ the United States Government, and nobody is allowed to <^ 

<^ do this play without first having obtained written ^ 

4i> permission of Samuel French, 24 West 22d St., ^ 

••til New York City, U. S, A. (^ 



<; PRICE 25 CENTS t 



London ^ 

SAMUEL FRENCH, Ltd. $ 

26 Southampton St. ^ 

STRAND * 



<^ 24 WEST 22 D STREET 



FRENCH'S STANDARD DRAMA. 

Price 15 Cents each.— Bound Volumei $1.25. 



VOL. I. 
1 Ion 
S FmIo 

1 Tha L«dy ot Lvont 
4 RlchaKcu 
t Tb« Wife 
• Tb« Hou«7a.MD 
7 The School lot Scandal 
I Money 

VOL. IL 
t The Stranger 

10 Grandfather Whitehead 

11 Richard III 

I» LK>Te'i Sacrifice 
IS The Gametter 
14 A Cure for the Heartach 
n The Hunchback 
It Don Ceetar de Baian 
VOL. III. 

17 The Poor Gentleman 

18 Hamlet 
1» Cbarlei II 

«0 Venice Preierred 

81 Piiarro 

91 The Love Cfaaie 

98 Othello 

S4 Lend me Five Shllllnn 

VOL. IV. 
n Vlrglnlut 
S( KJni; of the Commoni 

57 London Anurance 
88 The Rent Day 

S» Two Gentlemen of Verona 

80 The Jealom Wife 

81 The Rivali 

53 Perfection 

VOL. V. [Debti 
«8 A New Way to Pay Old 

54 Look Before Yon Leap 

55 King John 

8S Nervoui Mas 

«7 Damon and Pythiae 

58 Clandeitiae Marriage 
«» WilHaa Tell 

40 Day after the Wadding 

VOL. VL 

41 Speed the Plough 
41 Romeo and Juliet 
48 Fendal Timet 

44 Charlet the Twelfth 

46 The Bride 

48 The Folliei of a Night 

47 Iron Cheit [Fair Lady 

48 Faint Heart Never Won 

VOL. VIL 
4f Road to Ruin 
10 Macbeth 
(1 Temper 
(8 Evadne 
13 Bertram 
(4 The Duenna 
»6 Much Ado About Nothing 
H Th« Critic 

VOL. VIIL 
S7 The ApoiUte 

68 Twelfth Night 

69 Brutal 

•0 Slmpton A Co 

f 1 Merchant of Venice 

•8 Old Headi& Voung Hearts 

•3 MoCntalneer* [riage 

64 Three Weeki after Mar- 

VOL. LX. 
<6 Lore 

(6 Ai You Like It 
«7 The Elder Brother 
68 Werner 

49 Gldppui 

IJ Town and Country 
f 1 King Lear 
79 Blue Devlli 

VOL. X. 
78 Henry VIII 

74 Married and Single 

75 Henrv IV 

76 Paul I'ry 

77 Guy Mannering 

78 SweethearU and Wives 

79 Serioui Family 

•0 She Stoops to Conquer 



VOL. XL 
81 Julius Csetar 
91 Vicar of Wakefield 

83 Leap Year 

84 The Catspaw 
«6 The Passing Cloud 

86 Drunkard 

87 Rob Roy 

88 George Barnwell 

VOL. XII. 
81 Iiigomar 

90 Sketches in India 

9 1 Two Friends 
9^ Jane Shore 

93 Corsicau Brothers 

94 Mind your own Business 
96 Writing on the Wall 

96 Heir at Law 

VOL. XIII. 

97 Soldier's Daughter 
9>t Douglas 

99 Marco Spada 

100 Natuie's Nobleman 

101 Sardanapalus 
lO'i Civiliration 

103 The Robbers 

104 Katharine and PetruchIo 

VOL. XIV. 

105 Game of Love 

106 Midsummer Night's 

107 Ernestine [Dream 

108 Rag Picker of Paris 

109 Flying Dutchman 

110 Hypocrite 

1 1 1 Therese 



119 La Tour de Nesle 
VOL. XV. 

113 Ireland At It Is 

114 .Sea of Ice 
116 Seven Clerks 

116 Game of Life 

117 Forty Thieves 

118 Bryan Boroihme 

1 19 Romance and Reality 

120 Ugolino 
VOL. XVL 

191 The Tempest 

122 The Pilot 

123 Carpenter of Rouen 
■ -4 King's Rival 

26 Little Treasure 
126 Dorabey and Son 

2" Parents' and Guardians 
118 Jewess 

VOL. XVIL 
129 Camille 
VM Married Life 

131 Wen look of Wenlock 

132 Rose of Ettrickvale 

133 David Copperfield 

134 Aline, or the Rose of 
35 Pauline [Killarney 

136 Jane Eyre 

VOL. XVIII. 
37 Night and Morning 

138 ^thiop 

139 Three Guardsmen 

140 Tom Cringle 

141 Henriette, the Forsaken 

142 Eustache Baudin 

143 Ernest Maltravers 

144 Bold Dragoons 
VOL. XIX. 

145 Dred, or the Dismal 
[Swamp 

146 Last Days of Pompeii 

147 Esmerald* 

148 Peter WilWins 

149 Ben the Boitswaln 

150 Jonathan Bradford »•« 
51 Retribution 

162 Mineral! 

VOL. XX. •• 

53 French Spy 

154 Wept of Wish-ton Wish 

155 Evil Genius 

156 Ben Bolt 

157 Sailor of France 

158 Red Mask 

159 Life of an Actrsit 

160 Wedding Day 



VOL. XXI. 
Ill All's Fair in Lor* 
16* Hofer 

163 Self 

164 Cinderella 
16* Phantom 

166 Franklin [Moscow 

1*7 The Gunmaker of 
itSThe Love of a Prince 

VOL. XXII. 

169 Son of the Night 

170 Rorv O'More 

171 Golden Eagle 

172 Rieuxi 

173 Broke., Sword 

174 Kip Van Winkle 

175 Isabelle 

176 Heart of Mid Lothian 

VOL. XXIIL 
77 Actress of Padua 

178 Floating Beacon 

179 Bride ofLammermoor 

180 Cataract of the Gangei 

181 Robber of the Rhine 

2 School ot Reform 

3 Wandering Boys 

184 Mazeppa 

VOL. XXIV. 

185 Young New York 

186 The Victims 
Romance after Marriage 

188 Brigand 

189 Poor of New York 
19v Ambrose Gwinett 



191 Raymond and Agnes 

192 Gambler's Fate 
VOi.. XXV. 

193 Father and Son 

194 Maseaniello 

195 Sixteen String Jack 

196 Youthful Queen 

197 Skeleton Witness 

198 Innkeeper of Abbeville 

199 Miller and his Men 

200 Aladdin 

VOL. XXVI. 

201 Adrienne the Actress 
208 Undine 

203 Jesse Brown 

204 Asmodeus 

205 Mormons 

206 Blanche of Brandywlne 

207 Viola 

208 Deseret Deserted 

VOL XXVII. 

209 Americans in Paris 

210 Victorine 

211 Wizard of the Wave 

212 Castle Spectre 

213 Horse-shoe Robinson 

214 Armand, Mrs. Mowatt 

215 Fashion, Mrs. Mowatt 

216 Glance at New York 
VOL. XXVIII. 

217 Inconstant 

218 Uncle Tom's Cabin 

219 Guide to the Stage 

220 Veteran 

221 Miller of New Jersey 

222 Dark Hour before Dawn 

223 Midsum'rNight'sDream 
[L.iura Keene's Edition 

224 Art and Artifice 
VOL. XXIX. 

J25 Poor Young Man 

226 Ossawattomie Brown 

227 Pope of Rome 

228 Oliver Twist 
2'.'*PauTrette 

2.3(jMan in the Iron Mask 
23j Knight of Arva 
96* Moll Pitcher 

VOL. XXX. 
233 Black Eyed Susan 
2.S4 Satan in Paris 
235 Rosina Meadows [ess 
2.36 West End, or Irish Heir- 

237 Six Degrees of Crime 

238 The Lady and the Devil 

239 Avenger; or Moor of Sicl- 

240 Masks and Faces [ly 



{French's Standard Drama Continued on jd page of Cover.) 



VOL. XXXI. 

241 Merry Wives of Windsor 

242 Mary's Birthday 

243 Shandy Maguire 

244 Wild 6at8 

245 Michael Erie 

246 Idiot Witness 

247 Willow Copse 

248 People's Lawyer 
VOL. XXXII. 

249 The Boy Martyrs 

250 Lucretia Borgia 

251 Surgeon of Paris 

252 Patrician's Daughter 

253 Shoemaker of Toulouse 

254 Momentous Question 

255 Love and Loyalty 
266 Robber's Wife 

VOL. XXXIIL 
257 Dumb Girl of Genoa 

Wreck Ashore 
259 Clari 

Rural Felicity 

261 Wallace 

262 Madetaine 

263 The Fireman 

264 Grist to the Mill 
VOL. XXXIV. 

265 Two Loves and a Life 

266 Annie Blake 

267 Steward 

268 Captain Kvd 

269 Nick of the Woodi 

270 Marble Heart 

271 Second Love 

272 Dream at Sea 

VuL. XXXV, 

273 Breach of Promise 

274 Review 

275 Lady of the Lake 

276 Still Water Runs Deep 

277 The Scholar 

278 Helping Hands 

279 Faust and Marguerite 

280 Last Man 

VOL. XXXVf. 

281 Belle's StraUgem 

282 Old and Young 

283 Raffaella 

284 Ruth Oakley 

285 British Slfva 
266 A Life's Ransom 
287 Giralda 

28!S Time Tries All 

VOL. XXXVIL 

289 Ella Rosenburg 

290 Warlock of the Glea 

291 Zelina 
Beatrice 

293 Neighbor Jackwood 

294 Wonder 

295 Robert Emmet 

296 Green Bushes 
VOL. XXXVIIL 

297 Flowers of the Forest 

298 A Bachelor of Arts 

299 The Midnight Banquet 

300 Husband of in Hour 
Li>ve's Labor Lost 

;i02 r.aia.l Queen 
.303 Caprice 

304 Cradle of Liberty 
VOL. XXXIX. 

305 The Lost Ship 

306 Country Squire 

307 Fraud and its Victims 
Wb Putnam 

soy King and Deserter 
310 La Flammina 
1 A Hard Struggle 

312 Gwiniiette Vaughan 
VOL. XL. 

313 The Love Knot [Judge 
^14 Lavater, or Not a Bad 

315 The Noble Heart 

316 Coriolanus 

317 The Winter's Tale 

318 Eveleen Wilson 
S19 Ivanhoe 
320 Jonathan In Englaul 



SAMUEL FRENCH. a6 West aad Street, New York City. 

New and Explicit Descriptive Catalojrue Wailed Free on Request. 



THE TWO 
MR. WETHERBYS 

H /llMDMe==(Ilas5 ComeD^ In XTbree Hcts 



BY 

ST. JOHN ^lANKIN 



"Life is a comedy to those who think, a tragedy 
to those who £e^." 

Horace Walpolb. 



Copyright, 1907, by Samuel French 



Caution: — Professionals and Amateurs are hereby notified that this play is 
fully copyrighted under the existing laws of the United States Government, 
and nobody is allowed to do this play without first having obtained 
written permission of Samuel French, 24 West 22d St., New York City, 
U.S.A. 



New York - 

SAMUEL FRENCH 
publisher 
24 WEST 22U STREET 



London 

SAMUEL FRENCH, Ltd. 

26 Southampton Street, 

STRAND 






OCT 84 190s* 
jj Copynghf Sntjy 



SSi> XXc, No. 

COPY a 






THE TWO MR. WETHERBYS. 



Scenes. 

Act I. The Drawing-room at the James Wetherby's. 
Act II. The Dining-room at the James Wetherby's. 
Act III. Same as Act I. 

The curtain is dropped for a moment half-way through 
Act II to represent the lapse of three hours. 



Cbaracters. 



Richard Wetherby. . Tlie bad Mr. Wetherby, living in a 
bachelor fiat in London. 

Constantia Margaret's sister, married to Rich- 
ard but separated from him. 

James Wetherby The good Mr. Wetherby, living en 

famille at Norwood. 

Margaret His wife. 

Aunt Clara Aunt to Margaret and Constantia, 

a pious old lady of 65. 

Robert Carne Her nephew, a solemn prig with 

no digestion. 

Maid At the James Wetherbys'. 

Scene :— Mr. James WetharlJy's house at Norwood. The 
action of the play takes sonie 20 hours, from the afternoon 
of one day to the forenoon of the next. 

2 



Cast of the Original production before the Stage Society at 
the Imperial Theatre, London, on March 15, 1903. 

Richard Wetherby. . Mr. Nye Chart. 

CONSTANTIA Miss Nahcy Price. 

James Wetherby Mr. A. E. George. 

Margaret Miss Ellen O'Malley. 

A UNT Clara Miss Henrietta Gowen. 

Robert Garne , Mr. Dennis Eadie. 

(The play produced by Mr. Charles Rock.) 



properties* 

ACT I. 

Knitting. "] 

Ball of wool. { ■c^ A i. ^1 
Work basket, f ^^^ ^^"* ^^ara. 
Walking-stick. J 
Newspaper. 
Tea cloth. 

Tea things for four. 
Plate of thin bread and butter. 
Plate of biscuits. 
Cake. 

Cheque book in drawer of writing-table. 
Pen, ink and blotter on writing-table. 
Printed appeal for a charity (Robert.) 
Largish lacquered Japanese tray. 
Conspicuous photograph of James in frame. 
Small brass clock on mantelpiece. 
Silver framed calendar on writing-table. 
A few other knick-knacks which Margaret will collect 
J souvenirs in Act III. 

3 



PROPERTIES. 

ACT II. 

Table cloth. 

Dinner things for three. 

Dessert things for three. 

Spiire dinner things on sideboard. 

Coffee cups for three ;. sugar, milk. 

Small tray for serving coffee. 

Large tray for clearing table. 

Tray for whisky and soda. 

Crumb scoop and salver. 

Tantalus or decanter for whisky. 

Syphon. 

Three or four tumblers. 

Cigar case containing cigars and cigarettes (Dick), 

" Empire " programme. 

Smoking jacket (for James). 

ACT in. 

Japanese tea-tray. 
Photograph of James in frame. 
Small brass clock 
Silver framed calendar. 
Knick-knacks for Margaret to collect. ) 




(D 



Dl 





THE TWO MR. WETHERBYS. 



ACT I. 



Scene.— The James Wetherbys^ drawing-room 
at Norwood. A door r. leads to Hall. French 
windows at hack, closed, give on to surhurlan 
garden. Fireplace l., writing-tahle with chair 
down L. facing audience. Circular settee to 
seat three, one with hack to audience, the other 
two facing l. c. and R. c, occupies centre of 
stage. General furnishing of room philistine 
hut not shahhy. A profusion of plush photo- 
graph frames on mantelpiece and on upright 
piano which stands against wall n. One of 
the most conspicuous frames on mantelpiece 
contains photograph of James Wetherby. 

{When Curtain rises Aunt Clara, an old lady of 
sixty-five, is discovered in armchair making a 
crochet shawl. James is sitting near her on set- 
tee c. reading a newspaper aloud) 

James, {in hored voice) "It is, however, 
abundantly clear that the Government possesses 

Note. The Stage Directions throughout this play are 
given from the standpoint of the audience, R. meaning 
the Audience's Right, L. tlie Audience's Left. 

5 



6 THE TWO MR. WETHERBYS. 

the confidence of the country and that unless some 
unforeseen diJQficulty arises, the present adminis- 
tration will remain in power at least until the 
autumn — " {yawns slightly) I beg your par- 
don, Aunt Clara. " Meantime it is for the Prime 
Minister and his colleagues to take measures to 
prevent any diminution in that confidence, and to 
see to it that when the Next General Election 
takes place, the Conservative party are not merely 
returned to Power, but returned with an even 
larger majority. Only in this way can the ene- 
mies of this country be convinced that her destiny 
is in strong and capable hands, and be restrained 
from embarking in enterprises hurtful to her 
interests or damaging to her prestige." (yawns) 
" To hand over the task of forming a Government 
to the disunited factions of the Opposition would 
be " 

Aunt Clara, {in hard clear tone) Will you 
kindly pick up my wool, James? It has rolled 
under the settee. 

James. Certainly, Aunt Clara, {grovels for 
it, and after disentangling it from various chair 
legs, etc., returns with it triumphant, 'but flushed 
with exertion) Here it is. {Places it on table 
beside her) 

{She replaces it on her lap tvhere it is obvious 
that it will once more fall in a minute or two) 

Now where was I ? Ah, here we are. {Resuming 
bored voice) " It is however abundantly clear 
that the Government possesses the confidence of 
the country — 



THE TWO MR. WETHERBYS. 7 

(Aunt Clara^s hall again seeks the floor) 

and that unless some unforeseen difficulty arises 
the present administration will remain in power, 
etc." {reads on as before) 

Aunt Clara, {feeling for wool) There! It's 
gone again ! 

James. {Jbored) Where is it now, Aunt? 

Aunt Clara. On the floor. I had it on my lap 
a moment ago. It must have rolled under that 
chair. Will you give it me, please? 

(James puts down paper with the least possible 
suggestion of irritation and recommences grov- 
elling. Finally again emerges successful and 
places it on table) 

{replacing it on lap) Thank you, James. 

James, {eyeing the manoeuvre with strong dis- 
favor) Wouldn't it be better to leave it on the 
table? Then it wouldn't be so likely to slip off. 

Aunt Clara, {placidly) No, I'm used to hav- 
ing it on my lap. 

James. Very well, Aunt. Shall I go on? 
{picks up paper again) " It is however abun- 
dantly clear that the Government possesses the 
confidence of the country and that unless some 
unforeseen difficulty arises — etc." {yaivns again) 

Aunt Clara. {in her hard clear tones) 
Haven't you read that part before?' 

James. It does sound rather familiar. 

Aunt Clara, {severely) I'm afraid you're not 
reading with much attention, James. 

James. I suppose not, I'm rather tired. 
{smothers another yawn) 



8 THE TWO MR. WETHERBYS. 

Aunt Clara, (offended) Perhaps we had bet- 
ter put aside our reading for this afternoon, then. 

James, (putting doicn paper with sigh of re- 
lief and rising) Very well, Aunt, (strolls to- 
wards garden c. up r. to c.) 

Aunt Clara, (quite unconscious of this man- 
amvre) We might talk a little instead. After 
luncheon when I'm not being read to, I like to con- 
verse for a few minutes. It prevents me from 
going to sleep. 

James, (to her, turning hack from garden) 
You're sure you wouldn't rather go to sleep? 

Aunt Clara. No, James. I do not approve of 
this modern habit of sleeping during the day. 

(James sighs dismally and goes to fire where he 
stands with hack to mantelpiece looking pro- 
foundly hored) 

(putting down crochet, etc., on tahle) Has Con- 
stantia come yet? 

James. No, she won't be here much before tea, 
I expect. 

Aunt Clara. And Richard? 

James. Dick comes about the same time. 

Aunt Clara, (reproachfully) I cannot think 
how you could have asked Richard to stay here! 
After the way he treated Constantia ! 

James, (casually) Oh, Dick's not a bad fel- 
low. He didn't get on with Constantia, of course, 
but he's got his good points all the same. 

Aunt Clara, (severely) I have never been able 
to find them. His treatment of your sister-in-law 
was shameful. I am sure with your high princi- 
ples you would be the last to defend it. 



THE TWO MR. WETHERBYS. 9 

James, {hastily) Of course, of course. Still 
one mustn't judge too harshly. 

Aunt Clara. I hope I do not, James. Indeed 
it would be hard to do so in this case. 

James, (hored) He's only coming for one 
night. And after all he is my brother. 

Aunt Clara. T/ta* scarcely seems to me to be 
in his favour. You are too forgiving, James. Per- 
sonally I don't approve of this modern habit of 
forgiving people. It encourages them. And to 
invite him here! What will Constantia think? 

James. I did it partly to oblige Constantia. 
When the separation between her and my brother 
was decided on, it was arranged that the two 
parties should meet once a year. It was thought 
that this might open the way to a reconciliation 
later. When the date for the meeting approached, 
the question immediately arose where should it 
take place? Constantia wished it to be at her 
house here in Norwood. Dick declined this, and 
suggested his flat in Maddox Street. Each of 
them, in fact, wanted it to take place on his own 
ground. To put an end to all discussion I sug- 
gested that it should be here. And here it is to 
be. (smothers another yawn) 

Aunt Clara. Ah, James, you are always 
thoughtful for others! If only your brother had 
been like you ! But he has no heart. 

James. Dick's all right. He's been a little 
wild, but he'll settle down, {looks at watch) I 
suppose he'll be here about half-past four. 
(crosses r. to c.) 

Aunt Clara. Robert will arrive rather earlier. 



10 THE TWO MR. WETHERBYS. 

James, {endeavouring to conceal Ms disgust) 
Robert! Why, he was here to luncheon. 

Aunt Clara. Yes, but he is coming back to tea. 
In Constantia's interest he thought as many of 
her relatives as possible should be present during 
the interview — to support her. 

James, (grimly) I don't think Rol)ert would 
be much support. 

Aunt Clara. You never can tell. A man of 
his high principles ! 

James, [impatiently) Oh, his principles are 
all right. 

Aunt Clara. I am sure you do not under- 
value such things. 

James, (hastily) My dear Aunt Clara, cer- 
tainly not. Still Robert is not exactly a strong 
man, is he? — except in principles, I mean. 
(crosses to l. c. ahove tahlc) 

Aunt Clara. My poor nephew certainly enjoys 
wretched health. 

James. I wonder whether he has enough to 
do? (at lack of tal)le l. c.) 

Aunt Clara. (complacently) Robert has 
plenty of occupation. He comes to see me every 
day! 

James. Yes, he's generally here, I notice. 

Aunt Clara. You are so hospitable. And 
Robert is devoted to his relations. That shows 
such a nice nature. 

James, (hored) No doubt. 

Aunt Clara, (enthnsiastically) And then he 
does so much good. Always busy about collect- 
ing subscriptions for some deserving object. I 



THE TWO MR. WETHERBYS. 11 

call that such a useful life. His means, poor fel- 
low, don't allow of his contributing himself, but 
he collects quite a large sum from others. 

James, (grimly) Yes, I've noticed that! 

Aunt Clara. I am sure you are grateful to him. 
He is always pointing out to you institutions 
where money may be safely bestowed. Ill health, 
which makes most people selfish, has not been 
able to spoil my nephew. 

James. Poor Robert, he is certainly a martyr 
to indisposition, (struck hy an idea, r. c. al)OVG 
sofa) Do you think, Aunt Clara, that the air of 
Norwood really agrees with him? 

Aunt Clara. I have not noticed that his health 
grows any worse. 

James, (eagerly) Oh yes, it does. He pines, 
Aunt Clara, positively pines for a more bracing 
air. The East coast, for instance ! 

Aunt Clara. Ah, James, always considerate. 
{complacently) But Robert will never go any- 
where where he cannot constantly come and see 
me. That I am sure of. Indeed it would not be 
good for him, he has so few distractions. 

James. (depressed) That's true. (vanes 
down R. and turns, hrightening again) But why 
shouldn't you go, too. Aunt Clara? I'm sure it 
can't be a good thing for you to remain in one 
place for so long together. Don't you think a 
change would do you good? 

Aunt Clara, (virtuously) I was never a gad- 
about. And I disapprove of this modern mania 
for change. Besides with only my little an- 
nuity 



12 THE TWO MR. WETHERBYS. 

James. (interrupting eagerly) Yes, yes, I 
know. (crosses to l. of Aunt C.) But for 
Robert's sake? You might take him with you, 
and of course I should be delighted to contrib- 
ute — 

Aunt Clara, (patting his shouider affection- 
atchj) No, no, James. Your heart is ever gener- 
ous, but in this case there is really no necessity. 
The air here suits me excellently, and Robert is 
quite as well as can be expected. Besides there is 
Margaret to be thought of. I could not leave her! 

James. I'll look after Margaret, (hack to 
fireplace) 

Aunt Clara. I am sure you would. I know 
how devoted you are to her. But Margaret likes 
to have her own family about her. 

James, (ruefully) So she does. (c7'osses to 
writing-tahle l.^ sits) 

Aunt Clara, (affectionately) So you mustn't 
think any more about this. It was generous of 
you to propose it, but I am quite contented here. 
Living in your house, James, with Robert and 
Constantia coming in every day, I have everything 
that I need for happiness, (wipes tear from her 
eye) Ah, here is Robert. 

(Enter Robert r., a cadaverous shamhling man 
of five and thirty.) 

Robert, (nods to James) Good morning, 
Aunt Clara, (shakes hands) You weren't down 
for lunch. 

Aunt Clara. No, I had a little soup in my 
room, I had a bad night. 



THE TWO MR. WETHERBYS. 13 

Robert, {sitting on settee l. c. gloomily) Ah, 
mi/ insomnia is chronic. 

Aunt Clara, {bravely) But we must not 
complain. On the whole my health is wonder- 
fully good. 

Robert. I wish I could say that. After the 
Otaheite mission meeting last night I felt posi- 
tively faint. 

Aunt Clara. Did you see James? 

Robert. No, was he there? 

Aunt Clara. Of course. You know his inter- 
est in Otaheite. 

James, {hastily) Oh, in a large meeting like 
that it is so easy to miss a face. 

Robert, {in a hard voice) I shouldn't have 
called, it a large meeting. 

James. {hurriedly) Relatively large! Of 
course it wasn't crowded, 

Robert. I should think not. Why, there were 
scarcely a hundred people there. 

James, {judicially) Indeed? I should have 
thought more than a hundred. {to Aunt C, 
with rapid change of subject) Shall I begin to 
read to you again, Aunt Clara? 

Aunt Clara. Not now, thank you, it is almost 
time for my walk. 

Robert. By the way, James, I have here an 
appeal for a good object which may well claim 
your support. The Mahommedan Conversion 
Fund. A most deserving field, {produces paper 
from pocket) 

James, {irritably) Oh, come, I hardly think 



14 THE TWO MR. WETHERBYS. 

we need go as far as the Mahommedans to find 
a deserving object. 

Robert. I don't see that. After all Arabia is 
nearer than Otahite. 

James, (indifferently) I dare say. 

Robert. And as you took the trouble to go to 
the meeting last night — I can't think how I came 
to miss you there, by-the-bye, where were you sit- 
ting? — I should have thought 

James, (rising hastily and going over to him 
c.) My dear fellow, you're quite right. Convert- 
ing the Mahommedans is a most useful field. 
Leave me that paper and I'll look through it. 
(takes paper and walks up r.) 

(Enter Margaret r. u. e. with Aunt Clara's hon- 
net and shawl.) 

Hullo, Maggie. Been lying down? (kisses her.) 

Margaret. For half an hour, (to Aunt C.) 
The sun is shining brightly now, Aunt Clara. 
Hadn't you better have your walk? (behind 
tal)le) 

Aunt Clara. I hardly feel up to it. 

James, (going to her l. of her chair) Oh yes, 
I really think you should, just a turn or two in 
the garden, (helps her to rise) 

Aunt Clara. Very well, perhaps a few steps. 
(is helped into honnet and shawl) And which 
of my dear nephews shall escort me? (beam- 
ing) James, I think. 

James (hastily) No, no. Aunt. Robert shall 
go with you while I look through this Mahom- 
medan Appeal. 



THE TWO MR. WETHERBYS. 15 

Aunt Clara (much touched at this fresh evi- 
dence of self denial) Ah, James, always willing 
to deny yourself. Come, Robert. 

Robert. {rising heavily) Very w^ell. Per- 
haps a gentle walk will do me good. 

{Exit Aunt Clara to garden supported ly 
Robert. ) 

(Margaret escorts hoth as far as windoio. James 
with a sigh of relief goes to writing-tahle l. 
with Mahommedan Appeal, eyes it with strong 
disfavour, glances at a page or two, then with 
a wry face takes out cheque 'book and writes 
cheque. Margaret returning from window 
goes to him, and noticing his depression, lays 
hand on shoulder.) 

Margaret. Tired, dear? {behind James) 
James. A little. 

{There is a pause, during which Margaret pats 
James affectionately on shoulder while he 
fidgets ivith paper knife, etc.) 

James {diffidently) Don't you think, Mag- 
gie, that Aunt Clara might sometimes go and 
stay with someone else? 

Margaret. {puzzled) Whom can she stay 
with? 

James, {hopelessly) Thafs just it, whom 
indeed ! 

Margaret. You see she has no one except us 
— and Constantia. 

James. That wouldn't be much change for 
her! Constantia's always here anyhow. 



16 THE TWO MR. WETHERBYS. 

Margaret, {gently) Not much change cer- 
tainly. 

(There is another perceptible pause.) 

James, {with an effort) Well then, Robert? 
Don't you think he might come rather less fre- 
quently? 

Margaret. My dear! He only comes to lunch- 
eon occasionally. 

James. Half a dozen times a week. 

Margaret. No, no, James, only three or four. 

James. Is that all? It seems oftener! 

Margaret, {kneels by him^ fondling his hair) 
What's the matter with you, dear? You seem 
out of spirits. 

James, {taking her hand and pressing it) 
It's nothing. Only we never seem to get any time 
to ourselves, do we? 

Margaret. Not very much, perhaps. 

James. And it would certainly be more com- 
fortable if we did, eh, little girl? {looking up at 
her face) 

Margaret, {gently) But we mustn't think 
only of comfort, must we? 

James. What an angel you are! {takes her 
hand and kisses it) 

{Enter Servant r. u. e.) 

Servant. Mrs. Richard Wetherby. 
James. Confound 1 

{Enter Constantia, an imposing figure, hand- 
somely dressed in blacky rather as if she had 



THE TWO MR. WETHERBYS. 17 

gone into half mourning to mark her sense of 
her separation from her husband.) 

Margaret, (putting hand over his mouth) 
Hush! {rises to greet her sister) Good after- 
noon, Connie, {kisses her) 

{They meet r. c. Constantia crosses l. c. after 
kissing Margaret.) 

James. {rising) How are you? {shakes 
hands. ) 

Constantia. {in her elaborate manner) 
Thank you, James, I am tolerably well. Has 
Richard arrived yet? 

James. Not yet. 

Constantia. I am glad of that. I would 
rather be here to receive him. I shall feel more 
at home. 

(James makes a face, which Margaret observes, 
and turns up r. c. to garden window.) 

Margaret. Aunt Clara is in the garden. 

James, {hurriedly) Yes. She has just gone 
out with Robert, {insinuatingly) Oughtn't you 
to go and say " How do you do " to her? 

Constantia. Very well. Perhaps I had better 
do so. I shall not be long, {going up l. c.) 

James, {as soon as she is out of the room) 
Pray don't hurry. 

{Exit Constantia c. to garden.) 

{There is a third significant pause during which 
Margaret crosses down r. and sits c. James 



18 THE TWO MR. WETHERBYS. 

crosses to settee c, repossesses himself of his 
wife's hand, and sits down hy her quietly.) 

[Reflectively) I suppose it wouldn't be possible 
to get Constantia to move, would it? 

Margaret. Move? 

James. Yes, go away from Norwood alto- 
gether. 

Margaret. Oh no, she likes being near us. 

James [gloomily) I was afraid so. 

Margaret, [kissing him) How silly you are 
this afternoon. I've never seen you like this be- 
fore. Why shouldn't Connie live near us? 

James, [petulantly) Why should she? Why 
doesn't she go and live with her husband like 
other women? 

Margaret. With Richard? But you know her 
principles. 

James, [hored) Here's another of them. 

Margaret, [not understanding) Wliat dear? 

James, [recovering himself) Nothing. Only 
I seem to have heard rather a lot about principles 
to-day. 

Margaret. As a member of the married wo- 
man's Protection League, Constantia naturally 
has a high ideal of a husband's duty to his wife. 
A very high ideal. So has Aunt Clara. So has 
Robert. 

James. They're a remarkably unanimous fam- 

iiy- 

Margaret. Constantia would have considered 
it tvrong to condone Richard's infidelity. 

James. There was no proof that Dick was 
unfaithful. 



THE TWO MR. WETHERBYS. 19 

Margaret. What other explanation could 
there be of his late hours, his constant absences 
from home ? 

James. Was he ever asked to explain them? 

Margaret. Of course. Constantia never al- 
lowed Richard to be out after midnight without 
demanding an explanation. She felt it to be 
her duty. 

James. What did Dick say? 

Margaret. He laughed at her. 

(James shotvs a tendency to laugh also) 

Jim! I believe you're laughing too! 

James. Well, the interviews must have been 
rather comic. Constantia proclaiming the rights 
of women and the wickedness of husbands, and 
old Dick grinning away on the hearthrug, {he- 
gins to laugh again) 

Margaret. (shocked) Oh, Jim! I never 
thought you would make a joke of such a thing. 

James, (pulling himself up) No! No! Dick 
didn't behave at all well. Still I think Constan- 
tia might have managed him better. 

Margaret. Constantia never attempted to 
manage her husband. She had too much sense 
of her own dignity. She merely insisted upon 
her rights. 

James. Rather a maddening attitude that? 

Margaret. Richard was in fault. 

James. Perhaps there were faults on Constan- 
tia's side as well? 

Margaret, (pained) Oh, Jim, I thought you 
never judged people harshly. 



20 THE TWO MR. WETHERBYS. 

James. No, no, dear. You misunderstand me. 
I only mean that perhaps Constantia did not 
show Dick much affection? She's not what you 
would call a demonstrative woman. 

Margaret, (gently) I don't think she ever 
failed in her duty. 

James. A woman must do a lot more than 
her duty if she's to make her husband happy. 

Margaret. Richard did not make her happy 
either, you know. 

James. That's it, you see! They're quits. 

Margaret. {affectionately) Its like you, 
dear, to try and defend Richard. You always 
make the best of everybody. Still he was greatly 
to blame. 

James. I'm afraid he was. 

(Slight pause.) 

But you won't do anything to prevent a recon- 
ciliation, will you? 

Margaret. No. But you mustn't ask me to 
encourage it. 

James, (rises, goes l. c.) Well, let's hope 
they'll patch it up between them, to-day. She's 
not seen Dick for a year. And she must have 
been fond of him once. 

Margaret. What does Robert think? 

James, (hastily) Oh, I don't think we need 
consult Robert. 

Margaret. By the way, Robert and I are going 
to the great meeting at Lambeth to-night in aid of 
the Bishop's Sustentation Fund. We shall dine 
in town. You don't mind? 



THE TWO MR. WETHERBYS. 21 

James. What about Dick? He'll be here. 

Margaret. It is because of Richard that I am 
going. I was afraid it might seem rather 
marked if I were out the only night he's dining 
here, but what was I to do? 

James, {hriefly) Not go, I suppose. 

Margaret. I couldn't do that. Of course, I 
don't want to hurt Richard's feelings, but I would 
rather not sit at table with a man who is living 
apart from his wife. 

James. I should have thought it was no worse 
to sit at table with a man who is separated from 
his wife than with a wife who is separated from 
her husband. Constantia is here often enough ! 

Margaret, {slightly scandalised) The cases 
are hardly parallel. 

James. I should think they weren't ! Consid- 
ering that your sister is here all day and every 
day, I think you might manage to meet my 
brother at dinner once a year. 

Margaret, {pause, rises) I'm sorry you're 
vexed, dear. I hoped you wouldn't mind. 
{pause) However, it doesn't matter. I'll tell 
Robert I've changed my plans, and he and I will 
both have dinner with you here before the meet: 

ing. 

James, (l. c.) Heaven forbid! Robert was 
here at luncheon. He will be here to tea. I'm 
hanged if he shall dine here as well. 

Margaret, (c.) Well, dear, what can I do? 
I can't very well disappoint Robert. It would 
be unkind. 

James, {remorsefully) What a brute I am! 



22 THE TWO MR. WETHERBYS. 

(kisses her) Of course you mustn't. Dine in 
town by all means. I'll make your excuses to 
Dick, and we'll go round to the club after dinner 
and play billiards. There, dear, I'm sorry I was 
cross. I suppose I'm out of sorts or something. 
(cross to tahle l.) 

Margaret, (crosses to l. caressing him) Poor 
Jim! You won't mind dining alone with him, 
will you? 

James. Of course not, he won't eat me. Be- 
sides I shall have Aunt Clara ! 

Margaret. Yes, I was forgetting Aunt Clara. 

James. Happy woman! (sits l.) 

Margaret, (laughing) You're evidently not 
well at all. I shall send for Dr. Long, and he'll 
give you some horrid medicine. That Otaheite 
meeting was over ever so late last night. I ex- 
pect that tired you. 

(They emhrace. Enter hy window Constantia^, 
Aunt Clara a7id Robert. Robert enters be- 
hind Aunt Clara^ who leans on Constantia^s 
left arm. He stands hy the window gloomily 
ohserving the emhrace^ then moves doivn r. 
Margaret moves the armchair a little l. Con- 

. stantia^ after depositing Aunt Clara, comes 
doivn L. c. to settee. .Margaret goes up to win- 
dow) 

James, (ruefully) Interrupted again! (rises, 
and crosses r. c.) 

(Constantia seats herself on settee c. Aunt 
Clara in armchair l. The latter resumes her 
crochet, Robert moons ahout.) 



THE TWO MR. WETHERBYS. 23 

Robert. (r. looking at watch) Half-past 
four. Time for tea. 

James, (r. c.) Dick will be here directly. 

Robert, {unctuously) I'm afraid this will be 
a very painful meeting for all of us. 

James. That reminds me. I expect, Constan- 
tia, you'd rather have your interview with Rich- 
ard in private? {to Constantia standing be- 
tween her and Robert) 

Robert, {interrupting) I hardly think 

.James. My dear Robert, will you kindly allow 
Constantia to decide for herself? {to Constan- 
tia) Well? 

Constantia. Thank you, James, I think that 
will certainly be the best arrangement. 

James. Very well, then, {crosses l. hcloiv fire- 
place and stands hack to fire — rings hell) Jane 
shall show Dick into the library. Margaret and 
I will go there and give him some tea. You, 
Aunt Clara and Robert will have tea here. After 
tea I will bring Dick here and leave you to have 
your talk with him in private. 

{Enter Jane.) 

When Mr. Richard comes show him into the 
library, and let me know. 
Jane. Very well, sir. 

(Emt.f 

Robert. You are sure you would not rather 
have someone at hand? 

Constantia. Pray do not be ridiculous, 
Robert. I trust I am able to conduct an inter- 



24 THE TWO MR. WBTHERBYS. 

view with my husband without outside assist- 
ance. 

James, (l.) Of course! And I hope the re- 
sult will be to bring jou together again. 

(CoNSTANTiA hoivs coldly.) 

Aunt Clara. James! 

James, {hastili/) That is, of course, if you 
are conscientiously able to forgive him. 

Robert, (rises — grunts) By the way, James, 
about that Mahommedan Appeal 

James, {impatiently) Oh yes, I've looked 
through it. There's a cheque in my pocket some- 
where, {cross R. c.) Here it is. {hands it to 
him R.) 

Robert, {sitting, after examining the amount) 
Thank you, James, I felt sure the good work 
would find a supporter in you. 

James, (r. c.) Yes, yes, of course. Always 
glad to do what I can. {cross to l. c.) 

{Front door is heard.) 

Ah, that must be Dick. Ready, Maggie? {to 
Constantia) Then you will see Dick alone here 
in say ten minutes. 

(Maid enters.) 

Maid. Mr. Richard is in the library, sir. 
James. Very well, {moves up l. c.) Take 
him some tea and bring some here. Come, Maggie. 

{Exeunt Margaret and James.) 

Aunt Clara, {seated hy fireplace) It must 



THE TWO MR. WETHERBYS. 25 

"be very painful for dear James to meet his 
brother in these distressing circumstances. If 
only Richard were more like him. But the two 
brothers are quite different! {shakes her head 
mournfully) 

Robert. Richard is by nature incurably frivo- 
lous and vicious. 

CoNSTANTiA. {calmhj) I do not think any- 
thing is to be gained by exaggerating my hus- 
band's failings. 

(Enter Jane icith tea. Moves table a little l. c. 
puts tea on table l. c. and brings down chair 
from up L. and puts it behind table.) 

There was always a regrettable levity about his 
behaviour which showed a tendency to increase 
with years. And, of course, his moral character 
is scandalous, {goes over to tea-table) But, 
these defects are not necessarily incurable. Tea, 
Aunt Clara? 

Aunt Clara. Thank you. 

CoNSTANTiA. Take this to Aunt Clara, Robert. 

(Robert rises heavily from chair, gets tea and 
crosses l. up stage.) 

Aunt Clara. I am afraid Richard's disposi- 
tion always lacked the note of seriousness which 
is so beautiful in James. {taJces frff)— Thank 
you, Robert — I remember people used to joke 
about it. They called Richard ''The bad Mr. 
Wetherby" and James "The good Mr. Wether- 
by." 



26 THE TWO MR. WETHERBYS. 

(Robert stands hy r. of armchair) 

CoNSTANTiA. I remember. However, our sep- 
aration will have sobered him, no doubt, {gives 
Robert his tea) 

Aunt Clara. Let us hope so, my dear. 

Robert, (taking bread and butter, and cross- 
ing c.) Have you made up your mind what at- 
titude to adopt towards him? If I might advise 
I should urge that you receive his advances 
with the utmost reserve, (sitting settee c.) 

Aunt Clara. Yes, Robert is right! Do not 
allow your heart to betray you into any course 
which your reason would not approve. 

Constantia. (calmly helping herself to cake) 
I think you may count on me not to err in that 
direction. 

Aunt Clara. T am glad to hear it. Modern 
wives are far too ready to forgive their husbands. 
It is the cause of many unhappy homes. 

Constantia. (calmly) I did not say I shall 
not forgive Richard. 

Aunt Clara. My dear! 

Constantia. On the contrary. It is my in- 
tention to forgive him this afternoon, after he 
has duly expressed contrition and asked for for- 
giveness. 

Aunt Clara. But can you be sure that his 
repentance is sincere? 

Constantia. (philosophically) Of course 
there can be no certainty in these things. But 
I see every reason why it should be. He must 
have felt our separation acutely. In the early 



THE TWO MR. WETMERBYS. 27 

days of our marriage Richard was by no means 
without tenderness. 

Robert, (in a holloiv voice) Constantia, is 
this wise? {he takes 'bread and butter) 

Constantia. I think so. After all, Richard 
is my husband. And I have not found my posi- 
tion since I decided to live apart from him alto- 
gether an agreeable one. Socially indeed it has 
great inconveniences, {rises and takes Aunt 
Clara's cup and j)laces it on tray — seating her- 
self again) More tea, Aunt? 

Aunt Clara, {putting down cup with ges- 
ture of dissent) Well, my dear, of course you 
must do what your conscience tells you to be 
right. 

Constantia. Exactly. I shall not pardon 
him too quickly. I shall just yield gradually to 
his protestations. {Eats some cake delicatelij) 
After all, a year is a long time and it is better 
to err on the side of lenienc^'. {pours herself out 
more tea) A year ago, I felt obliged to leave 
Richard — I could not endure his heartless be- 
haviour. Indeed a wife who condones her hus- 
band's irregularities, is wanting in her duty. 
And at the time I intended never to return to 
him. But, one must not be vindictive. And the 
position of a woman who is separated from her 
husband is not a comfortable one. It has all the 
disadvantages of widowhood without its compen- 
sations. Yes, on the whole I think Richard has 
been punished long enough. More tea, Robert? 

Robert, {rises, and bringing his cup) I 



28 THE TWO MR. WETHERBYS. 

fear you are leaning unduly towards mercy. 
(Pause) I greatly fear it. 

(CoNSTANTiA pouTS out Robert's tea. Re takes 
it and sits again c. taking hread and hutter.) 

CoNSTANTiA. I am willing to take the risk. 
At least I shall feel that I have done what is 
right in forgiving my husband. Besides there 
are practical matters to be considered, the loss of 
income and so forth. When I left Richard I 
had to move into a smaller house and make other 
heavy sacrifices. The allowance he makes me, 
though suflScient, is considerably smaller than the 
income I enjoyed as his wife. 

Aunt Clara. I don't think you must allow 
that to weigh with you. After all what is money? 

Robert. (unctuously) What indeed! (he 
takes more bread and butter) 

CONSTANTIA. (frigidly) My dear Robert, of 
course I am above all sordid considerations in 
this matter. I shall do what I consider right in 
any circumstances. But there is no use in shut- 
ting one's eyes to things. 

Aunt Clara. (dismally) Well, well, my 
dear. I trust you will not find you have made a 
mistake. 

CONSTANTIA. (coldly) I do not usually 
make mistakes, I believe. I shall forgive Rich- 
ard this afternoon after he has expressed his re- 
gret in suitable terms. Of course I shall speak 
to him very seriously and caution him as to his 
future conduct. But afterwards I shall forgive 
him. 



THE TWO MR. WETHERBYS. 29 

{Enter Margaret r.) 

Margaret, (at door) Richard will come to 
you now, Connie, if you are ready to see him. 

CoNSTANTiA. Very well, (pours herself out 
some tea) 

Margaret, (going to Aunt Clara and helping 
her to rise) Come, Aunt Clara. Let me take you 
to your room, (to Robert) I think you had 
better go now, Robert. 

Robert. Certainly, (putting cup on chiffo- 
nier R. and finishing hread and hutter) 

(Exit Robert sulkily.) 

Margaret, (at door) Jim will bring Rich- 
ard to you in a minute or two. 

(Exit R. with Aunt Clara.) • 

(CoNSTANTiA piits down her cup directly they 
leave, rises, hut hearing voices, sits on settee c. 
There is an appreciable pause. Then enter 
R. James and Dick. The latter is a handsome, 
careless, jovial looking man of five and thirty, 
very cheerful and quite at his ease.) 

Dick, (going up to Constantia and shaking 
hands) How do you do, Con. Pretty well, I 
hope? 

CONSTANTIA. Thank you. I am quite well. 

Dick, (cheerfully) That's right. 

James, (at door) Now I'll leave you two to- 
gether. You may have things to talk of alone. 
(going) 



30 THE TWO MR. WETHERBYS. 

Dick. Not at all, my dear fellow. Stay by 
all means. Con and I have no secrets. 

James, (awkwardly) But I think — (going 
again) 

Dick. (up c.) Nonsense, Jim. Sit down. 
What on earth should we have to talk about? 
Don't be absurd. 

James, (still going) Oh, but — Constantia 
said she would prefer to speak to jou alone. 

Dick. Ah, that's different. If Con has any- 
thing private to say to me I'm agreeable. I al- 
ways am. Off with you. I say what time's din- 
ner? (goes up to James r.) 

James. Seven. By the way, Margaret asks 
you to excuse her. She has to dine out. 

Dick. All right, (nods cheerily to James 
who goes out r.) Well, Con, what have you got 
to say to me, eh? 

Constantia. (with dignity) Have you noth- 
ing to say to me, Richard? 

Dick. (r. c.) I think not. Nothing special. 

Constantia. Then I hardly see the object of 
this meeting. 

Dick, '(cheerily) Nor do I. But you ar- 
ranged it, you know. 

Constantia. (stiffly) Pardon me! 

Dick. No? Ah yes, I remember. You sug- 
gested every six months. I thought once a year 
quite sufficient. You see I was right. (Cross 
behind settee l. c.) 

Constantia. (majestically) This is not an 
occasion for levity. 



THE TWO MR. WETHERBYS. 31 

Dick. My remark was not intentionally hu- 
mourous. 

{There is a pause during which Constantia shows 
signs of impatience. Dick, quite at his ease, 
strolls over to fire and warms himself. Pres- 
entUj he takes up framed photograph of James 
which stands conspicuously on mantelpiece.) 

I say, what a beastly picture of old Jim ! Don't 
you think so? {holds it up) 

Constantia. {icily) It seems to me a sat- 
isfactory likeness. 

Dick. No, it's so smug and solemn. Poor old 
chap, I expect he has a pretty boring time of it 
down here, eh ? 

Constantia. {with elaborate sarcasm) I 
have not heard him complain. 

Dick. I dare say not. He's a patient sort of 
chap is old Jim. 

(Shakes his head at photograph as he puts it 
hack on mantelpiece. Then seats himself in 
arm chair. There is another aivkivard pause.) 

Dick. By the way, do you still like living in 
Norwood, Con? Ghastly sort of place I used to 

think it. 

Constantia. It suits me well enough. I like 
to be near Margaret and James. 

Dick. Ah! Do they like that? 

Constantia. Certainly. 

Dick. Oh! {a pause) You're tolerably con- 
tented then, take it all together? 



S2 THE TWO MR. WETHERBYS. 

(CONSTANTIA 1)0WS.) 

That's right. So am I. 

CoNSTANTiA. Of coursG a wife who is separ- 
ated from her husband can never be very happy. 

Dick. No doubt. But a husband who isn't 
separated from his wife can be tolerably miser- 
able too. 

CoNSTANTiA. Yes, marriage is a tragedy. 

Dick. Just so, with comic relief. 

CONSTANTIA. (impatiently) Pray be serious. 

Dick. My dear Con, I never am serious. 
Why on earth should I be? 

CoNSTANTiA. Dou't you Understand that by 
adopting this frivolous tone you are letting a 
golden opportunity slip? 

Dick. No. Hang me if I do. 

CONSTANTIA. {risi7ig with dignity) Then no 
good can come of our continuing this interview. 

Dick, {rising also) Of course not. What 
did you expect? 

CONSTANTIA. {exttsperated) I expected that 
you would at least have seen the propriety of ex- 
pressing regret for your past conduct and prom- 
ising amendment in the future. 

Dick. What would have been the use of that? 

CONSTANTIA. {Mttcrhj) Oh, nothing. Noth- 
ing that interests you at all, I suppose. Only it 
might have led to a reconciliation between us. 

Dick. {l)y fire, raising his eyehroivs) I see. 
{deliberately) I confess that possibility had 
not occurred to me ! 

CONSTANTIA. {stlffly) Indeed! 



THE TWO MR. WETHERBYS. 3S 

Dick, (politely) Still it's very good of you 
to suggest it. 

CoNSTANTiA. {turning^ hotly) I did not sug- 
gest it. 

Dick. Oh ! I thought you did. 

CoNSTANTiA. {angrily) What I said was that 
had you suggested it 

Dick. Yes, yes, of course. What I should 
have said was it would have been very good of me 
to suggest it. No, that's not right either. Still 
I appreciate the generosity of your offer. 

CoNSTANTiA. (crossly) I made no offer. 

Dick. Dear me, I'm afraid I express myself 
very clumsily. 

CONSTANTIA. (savagely) You certainly do. 
{sits on settee c.) 

Dick, {crosses lelow settee to r. c. Mandly) 
You must put it down to excess of emotion. 
When a man has been separated from his wife 
for a year, and there is a suggestion — if that is 
the right word — that she might return to his roof 
he naturally feels it acutely. The affection im- 
plied in such a proposal — no, not proposal, hy- 
pothesis — is very moving. 

CONSTANTIA. I Said uothiug about affection. 

Dick. But it was surely implied? 

CONSTANTIA. (stemly) No, Richard. Please 
understand that my — {pauses for ivord) 

Dick, {sweetly) Mention? 

CONSTANTIA. — My mcution of a reconciliation 
was in no way due to affection. Had I returned 
to you it would have been solely because I con- 
sidered it my duty. 



34 THE TWO MR. WETHERBYg. 

Dick, {insinuatingly) Is that quite a sat- 
isfactory foundation for domestic happiness? 

CoNSTANTiA. (impatiently) I was not think- 
ing of happiness. 

(There is a pause.) 

Dick, (calmly) Well, Con, I won't ask you 
to make such a sacrifice. 

CoNSTANTiA. (virtuously) I don't mind sac- 
rificing myself. 

Dick, (quietly) Ah! 7 do! 

CONSTANTIA. (vising angrily) Then there's 
nothing more to be said. 

Dick. (holding out hand) Except "good- 
bye " Con — till next year. 

(CONSTANTIA vefuses hand and sweeps out r. with 
dignity. Dick stands looking after her with 
a grim smile. The front door closes sharply.) 

CURTAIN. 



THE TWO MR. WETHERBYS. 35 



ACT II. 

Scene. — The Dining-room at the James Weth- 
ERBYS'. Dinner is half over. At the tahle in 
the middle of stage are Aunt Clara^ facing 
audience, James at one end, Dick at the other. 
The side of tahle next the audience is empty. 
The room is the conventional sicrhurhan din- 
ing-room, ivindows curtained behind Aunt 
Clara. Sideboard behind Dick l. Fireplace 
flanked by two leather easy chairs behind 
James r. Door l. 

{Pause. The Maid hands two sweets. James, 
tvho looks bored and ill, helps Aunt Clara to 
jelly. Dick helps himself. James refuses.) 

Dick. My dear chap, you eat nothing, {at- 
tacks jelly on his plate) Does he, x\unt Clara? 

Aunt Clara, {coldly) James has never a 
large appetite. 

James. I'm not hungry to-night. 

Dick. That's bad. {filling his mouth) 
There's nothing like eating! It helps a man 
through life wonderfully. 

James. No doubt. 

Dick. In fact it's very morbid not to eat. It's 
not at all a thing to give way to. {To Maid) 
Bring me some more of that. {Helps himself) 



36 THE TWO MR. WETHERBYg. 

James. My dear Dick, what nonsense you 
talk. 

Dick. I dare say. If you talked more non- 
sense you wouldn't look so beastly seedy. Eh, 
Aunt Clara? {attacks food) 

Aunt Clara (coldly) I had not noticed 
that James was looking unwell. 

Dick. He does though. And he looks beastly 
serious too. That's bad. A man should never be 
serious at meals. Indeed I'm not sure he should 
ever be serious at all. 

(Maid takes James's and Aunt Clara's sweet 
plates and puts two cheese plates.) 

Aunt Clara. Really Richard ! Considering 
the solemn cause which brought you here to- 
day— 

Dick. Yes, Constantia is solemn, isn't she? 
That's why we didn't get on. 

(Maid changes plates^ etc., during this scene, 
afterwards hands Mscuits and cheese.) 

Aunt Clara, (severely) It is a pity you 
are not more like her. 

(Maid gives Dick cheese plate.) 

Dick. That's what I never can understand 
about you solemn people. You're all propagan- 
dists. You're not only as solemn as owls your- 
selves — you want everybody else to be solemn too. 

James. Oh come, you were preaching the vir- 
tue of talking nonsense just now. 

Dick. So I was. But only to you, Jim. 



THE TWO MR. WETHERBYS. 37 

{Takes cheesey which the other two refuse.) 

You see I like you. But Aunt Clara doesn't like 
me. {to Aunt Clara) Oh, no you don't. So 
why on earth she should want to convert me to 
anything I don't know, {eats his cheese and Ms- 
cuit) 

Aunt Clara. I do not expect you to appre- 
ciate my motives. 

(Dick grins.) 

James. Aunt Clara means that you aren't an 
altruist, Dick. 

(Maid removes plates, h rushes cloth and puts on 
dessert during this scene, then Exit.) 

Dick. No, I'm not. But I've got a good tem- 
per and a rattling good digestion. That's enough 
for me. 

James. Is this the way you used to talk to 
Constantia? 

Dick. Yes. 

James. Then I don't wonder she left you. 

(Dick laughs.) 

Aunt Clara. {rising) I cannot be a wit- 
ness to any more of this levity. 

Dick. {genially) Don't go. Aunt Clara. 
Stay till after dessert. 

Aunt Clara. No, I will not — I never eat des- 
sert at night. James, give me your arm. 



38 THE TWO MR. WETHERBYS. 

(James and Dick both rise. Dick opens door, 
James helps Aunt Clara out hy door l. When 
he returns Dick is J)ack in Jiis chair, cracking 
nuts and pouring himself out a glass of port.) 

Jambs. What a brute you are, Dick! You've 
made Aunt Clara furious. 

Dick. Very sorry, my dear chap. I did my 
best to amuse her. 

James, (grimly) Well, you didn't succeed. 
She's gone straight to bed in a tearing rage. 

Dick. Fiery old lady! Nuts, Jim? 

James. No, thanks. 

Dick, {taking some more, then looking at 
James keenly hut kindly) My dear old man, 
what's the matter? You really do look awfully 
pulled down. 

James. Nothing. We were rather late last 
night. Perhaps it's that. 

Dick. {laughing softly to himself) Yes. 
How did you account for the fact here? 

James, {with a wry face) As usual — Mis- 
sionary Meeting — I nearly got found out, by the 
way. 

Dick. How was that? 

James. That fool Robert. He was there too. 
It wasn't a crowded house apparently, and he 
can't make out how he didn't spot me. 

(Dick laughs more.) 

That's right! {ivith a snarl) Laugh away! I 
suppose it is funny — to you. 

Dick. I should think it was. 

James. It isn't to me. It makes me sich 



THE TWO MR. WETHERBYS. 39 

Fancy a man of my age who has to pretend to 
his wife that he's been to a cursed missionary 
meeting because he can't tell her he was amusing 
himself at your club playing cards. 

Dick. Why didn't you tell her? 

James, (crossly) How can I? She'd never 
forgive me. Margaret's a dear little girl and 
she's awfully fond of me, but she's tremendously 
strict in her ideas. Besides I've got such 
a confoundedly high character to live up to. 
If I were just an ordinary person, I dare say she 
wouldn't be so much shocked. Margaret's not a 
fool. But she's got it into her head that I'm a 
sort of saint, and to please her, I've got into 
the habit of pretending to be one, and now I 
can't give it up. Was there ever such a beastly 
tangle ! 

Dick. Why not make a clean breast of it? 

James. I can't, I tell you. It would be bad 
enough merely to have to tell her that I'm not 
the good young man they all think me down here. 
But I should have to own that I'd been deceiv- 
ing her almost ever since our marriage. She'd 
never be able to respect me again, and I should 
never be able to respect myself. [Utterly] In- 
deed, I can't do that now. 

Dick. My dear chap, you take the whole thing 
too seriously. 

{Door opens — enter Maid.) 

James. Hush ! here's coffee. 

{Coffee is lianded—exit Maid.) 

Dick, {reflectively) It must be a curious 



40 THE TWO MR. WETHERBYS. 

thing being so highly thought of — especially by 
one's wife ! 

James, {crossly) Well, you needn't sneer 
at it. 

Dick. I wasn't. Still it seems odd — to me. 
What did they think of your asking me down 
here? 

James. Aunt Clara was rather shocked. Rut 
she puts it all down to my high principles. 

Dick. How does she manage that? 

James. I'm supposed to be such a thoroughly 
saintly character that I can't judge anyone 
harshly. Even a beast like you. 

Dick. Ho! Ho! 

James. Yes. That's one advantage in having 
a good reputation. Whatever you do, people al- 
ways attribute it to the loftiest motives. If you 
ask a fellow who's a bad lot to dinner, it's sup- 
posed to be because you've such a forgiving dis- 
position. You can't say that ! 

Dick. I don't want to, my dear fellow. And 
after all, a bad reputation and a good reputation 
amount to pretty much the same thing in the 
end. 

James, (disgusted) I'm hanged if they do. 

Dick. Oh yes. You can dine with whom you 
please because you've such a high character. / 
can dine with whom I please because I've no 
character at all. My position is every bit as 
good as yours. Indeed, I prefer it. (takes cigar 
and pushes case across to James) 

James, (shocked) Ah, you've no conscience. 

Dick. No. Have you a match? 



THE TWO MR. WETHERBYS. 41 

James. Here you are. {gets fnatchhox from 
mantelpiece) 

Dick. Won't you smoke? 

James. No. Margaret doesn't like it. 

Dick. Poor chap! {lights cigar) By the 
way, don't you find the high moral game rather 
fatiguing? 

James, {sighing) Sometimes. 

Dick. I thought so. That's why you're look- 
ing so fagged. 

James, (complainingly) And jet I'm not 
naturally a hypocrite. I'd like to be as straight- 
forward as the day. But circumstances were 
against me. When I fell in love with Margaret, 
I really did give up all the old bachelor ways. 
She was so good, {enthusiastically) so wonder- 
fully good and sweet, and I determined I'd be 
like her. For a time, I ivas like her. It was up- 
hill work, but I was. 

(Dick grins.) 

What are you grinning at? 

Dick. Nothing. Go on. 

James. Of course she thought me a perfect 
saint. I ivas a perfect saint, in fact. And so 
we were married and came to live down here. 
And after a time — six months or so — I found I 
couldn't keep it up. I wanted amusement. But 
by that time I was saddled with my ghastly rep- 
utation. And I've been groaning under it ever 
since. 

Dick. Much better have told her. 

James, {irritably, fidgeting with cigar case 



42 THE TWO MR. WETHERBYS. 

which remains on tahle all through scene) I 
couldn't. Margaret believed \u me; so did they 
all. I couldn't undeceive them. It would have 
been simply brutal. 

Dick. So you took to hypocrisy. 

James, (savagely) Oh well, you needn't get 
virtuous over it. 

Dick, {calmly) Not at all, my dear chap. 

James. (gruniMing) It isn't as if I'd been 
anything very bad. I'm not a vicious man. I 
only wanted to amuse myself, Music Halls, an 
occasional race meeting, a game of cards at the 
club. If she'd only thought me just an ordinary 
sort of chap, I'd have told her fast enough. But 
with iuy character! Good Lord! 

Dick. You'd much better have adopted my 
system, {rises, cross r.) 

James, {snappishly) Yojir system ! 

Dick. You needn't sniff at it. It's a lot better 
than yours. 

James. What is your system? 

Dick, {getting up from, tahle) It's very sim- 
ple. And it's based upon the easiest of all the 
virtues — Truth ! 

James. Pshaw ! 

Dick. Oh, yes it is. {goes over to fire, selects 
armchair and seats himself lazily) I hate pre- 
tending things. It's such a fag. So I've gone in 
for perfect frankness. In fact, I may say I've 
carried frankness to a fine art. 

James. ' What rot ! 

Dick. 'Tisn't rot at all, my dear chap, and so 
you'd have found if you'd tried it. Truth's a 



THE TWO MR. WETHERBYS. 43 

spleDdid thing in married life. It keeps a home 
together wonderfully. 

James, {sarcastically) You seem to have 
found it so! 

Dick, {easily) Oh, it sometimes breaks one 
up too. But it's awfully useful either way. 

James. I'm glad you think so. 

Dick. You see in marriage what one has to 
aim at is a quiet life. You tried to get it by pre- 
tending to be as good as Margaret thought you. 
That wasn't very successful. I tried to get it by 
never pretending anything at all. The result has 
exceeded my most sanguine expectations. 

James, {ironically) You're easily satisfied. 

Dick. That's my beautiful nature! After I 
married Constantia, I found she hadn't the same 
ideals as I had, not the same ideals at all. 

James. Your ideals! 

Dick. Come, my dear chap, your ideals 
haven't shown up particularly well. As I was 
saying, Con and I wanted different things. She 
liked regular hours, church on Sunday, afternoon 
tea parties, bazaars, that ass Robert and his sub- 
scription lists. Aunt Clara and her crochet — by 
the way, how do you like Aunt Clara? 

James. Hang Aunt Clara! {rises irritahly 
and begins to put away decanters^ etc., in a rest- 
less manner into sideboard l.) 

Dick, {hlandly) That's exactly what / said. 
Well, I soon realised that either Constantia's 
view of life must prevail or mine. I rebelled, 
late hours, golf on Sundays, no tea parties, no 
bazaars, no Robert, no Aunt Clara. Before long 



44 THE TWO MR. WETHERBYS. 

I bad established a reputation as a complete 
libertine and was allowed to do as I pleased. 

James. I remember. Your conduct was dis 
graceful. 

Dick. Not at all, my dear fellow. I never did 
anything bad. I'm no more vicious than you are. 
My bad reputation is as hollow as your good one. 
We're both frauds together. 

James, {impatiently) Anyhow Constantia 
believed you were vicious. 

Dick. Yes. That was part of my system. In 
this world, Jim, if you aren't always going about 
saying you're very good, people end by believing 
you're very bad. That was what happened to me 
with Constantia. 

James, {crosses to r. of tabic ^ leaning against 
chair) You deceived her then. 

Dick. No, Constantia deceived herself. 
{airily) I took no interest at all in the matter. 

James, {scornfully) Well, the result was a 
pretty abject fiasco. 

Dick. Fiasco! Why it was a triumph! Con- 
stantia sulked for six months and then announced 
her intention of leaving me. For once my perfect 
candour deserted me. I feigned distress. But it 
would scarcely have been decent to do otherwise, 
eh? 

(James makes inarticulate murmur of reproba- 
tion. ) 

So one auspicious day the lawyers were called in, 
an amicable separation was arranged, the parties 



THE TWO MR. WETHERBYS. 45 

to meet once a year. Aud that's what brought me 
here to-day. 

James, {indignantly) I think it's perfectly 
shameful. 

Dick, {laiigliing) Oh, come, look after the 
beam in your own eye, old man, and leave me my 
little mote. 

James, (disgusted) Don't joke about it. 
You're always joking. 

Dick. That's why I keep so jolly well. 
{rises, pushes James) 

(James hegins to laugh, finally hursts into a 
roar. ) 

That's right, laugh away, old man, and thank 
Heaven this deadly lively place hasn't robbed you 
of the faculty. {icalJcs to l. of taMe) 

{From this point to end of scene James grows in- 
creasingly cheerful and his gloom quite disap- 
pears. He goes over to fireplace and takes other 
armchair) 
James, {crosses and sitting heloiv fireplace) 

But don't you feel any remorse? Think of Con- 

stantia. You've ruined her life. 

Dick. Not a bit of it. I know Constantia. 

She's as happy as possible. She doesn't know it, 

but she is. She's a good woman and she's got a 

grievance. What more can she want? 
James. Still you made her life miserable 

while you were together. 

Dick. Well, she made my life miserable too— 

at least she did her best. We're quits. 

James. Quits! Ha, ha! I remember that's 



46 THE TWO MR. WETHERBYS. 

what I said to Maggie. Do you know, Dick, I 
hoped you two might patch things up this after- 
noon and live together again? 

Dick. No, thank you. I've no ill feeling to- 
wards Con. I even like her in a way. But I'm 
not going to live with her. Con is one of those 
characters who are much more admirable when 
you aren't married to them, {crosses l)ack to 
armchair adove fireplace and sits) 

James. You're quite happy as you are? 

Dick. Quite! I sleep well, eat well — you 
don't, Jim — I make no i)retence of being better 
than I am. Rather the contrary. And I find the 
world a very pleasant amusing place. 

James. I wonder how you two ever" came to 
marry ? 

Dick, {shrugging shoulders) Lunacy, I sup- 
pose! We haven't a taste in common. Constan- 
tia has no sense of humour. She likes solemn 
asses like Robert. / don't. By the way, I sup- 
pose you see a good deal of Robert? 

(James nods laughing.) 

I thought so. And Aunt Clara? 

James. She lives with us. 

Dick. Poor chap! Now, Jim, can you seri- 
ously imagine my having Aunt Clara to live with 
riicf And Robert dropping in every day? 

James. I don't think I can. 

Dick. Why don't you turn them out? 

James. My character! 

Dick. Oh, it's that again, is it? 

James. I'm supposed to be so awfully kind 



THE TWO MR. WETHERBYS. 47 

and considerate and all that. That's the worst of 
it. If I were only a brute like you ! 

Dick, {triumphantly) Notv you begin to see 
the point of having no character. Try it, old 
man. Try it in your bath, as the advertisements 
say. 

James, {ruefully) I can't. I've Margaret to 
think of. 

Dick. She'd get over it — if she's really fond 
of you. 

James. I daren't face the risk. 

Dick. You'd better. 

James, {peevishly) I can^t, I tell you. No, 
I've got to go on in the old way with Aunt Clara 
I)ermanently on the premises, Robert dropping in 
to collect subscriptions and Constantia living 
next door but one. And I've a rejKitation for 
amiability. 

Dick. Poor old chap ! 

James. 'Tisn't a pretty picture, is it? 

Dick, {jumping up) Look here, Jim, you 
want rousing. You're simply perishing of dul- 
ness. Hang billiards. Let's run up to town for 
an hour, go to the Empire and amuse ourselves. 
We can be back by twelve ! 

(James shakes his head.) 

Half-past eleven then. Come along, {pulls him 
up out of chair) ^Yhy shouldn't we? It'll do 
you a world of good. 

James, {wavering) If Margaret heard of 

it 

Dick. She won't. After all, 'tisn't the first 



48 THE TWO MR. WETHERBYS. 

little jaunt you've had with me, without anybody 
being the wiser. You'll come? {pulls him out of 
chair hy his arm) 

James, (rising half unwillingly) I'm sure I 
oughtn't 

Dick. Bosh, old man ! Come along. I'll look 
after you. How do the trains go from this con- 
founded ijlace? 

James. Pretty often, (looks at watch) We 
shall catch one now if we hurry, (moves up n.) 

Dick, (dashing out for hats and coats and 
returning immediately) Here, get into this. 
(flings him overcoat) Hurry up. (puts on his 
own) 

James. Well, just for an hour. I think I do 
need shaking up. I feel regularly depressed and 
out of sorts. 

Dick, (dashing to tahle and pocketing his 
cigar case) Boredom^ my dear fellow. Strong 
men have died of it! 

(Takes his arm and hurries him out L. as Curiam 
falls.) 

(The Curtain descends for a moment. When it 
rises again the stage is dark. The scene is the 
same. Time three hours later. The sound of a 
latch-key is heard in front door. Then foot- 
steps in hall — then dining-room door opens let- 
ting in shaft of light from hall. Enter Mar- 
garet and Robert. Margeret, turns up elec- 
tric light, showing dining-room tvith cloth 
cleared and 'biscuits, syphon and glasses on 
tahle and whisky decanter on sideboard.) 



THE TWO MR. WETHERBYS. 49 

Margaret, {wp l.) They're not back yet. At 
least, I don't see Jim's hat and coat. 

Robert. Where have they gone? {crossing r.) 

Margaret. To the Club, to play billiards. 

Robert, {gloomily) They'll be late then. 
{puts hat and stick on taMe) 

Margaret. I think not. 

Robert. You don't know Richard! {crosses 
R. to fireplace) 

Margaret, {comes doicn l.) Jim will bring 
him back in good time. 

Robert. I wonder if it was wise leaving them 
together? The influence of a thoroughly de- 
praved nature like Richard's is very insidious. 

Margaret. Oh, with Jim's high character 

Robert. Of course — Still there's always a risk. 

Margaret, {ivitli conviction) Not with Jim. 
{sits L. of tahlc) 

Robert, {goes to tahlc and takes three or four 
hiscuits ichich he eats till end of scene hy fire- 
place) It was curious that I did not see James 
at the Otaheite Meeting last night. 

Margaret. It's so easy to miss people. 

Robert. Yes. Still there weren't many there. 
{pause) Did you see Constantia after her inter- 
view to-day? 

Margaret. No. 

Robert. Then there has not been a reconcili- 
ation? 

Margaret. I have heard of none. 

Robert. I am glad of that. From what she 
said this afternoon, I was afraid Constantia was 



50 THE TWO MR. WETHERBYS. - 

inclined to forget the past and return to Richard. 
It must have been a mere momentary weakness. 

Margaret. You don't think we should desire 
a reconciliation? 

Robert. My dear Margaret, how could we? 
With our principles! Richard is a libertine. 
That Constantia should so far forget her duty to 
morality as to forgive him would be deplorable. 
Think of the example to other men. If a man who 
treats his wife as Richard did is not to be pun- 
ished, there would be an end of married happiness 
altogether. 

Margaret. They have been parted for a year. 
Is not that sufficient punishment? 

Robert, (severely) Not in my opinion. 
However deep Richard's repentance, it is too soon 
to forgive him. 

Margaret. James thinks otherwise. 

Robert, (sternly) James is too good-natured. 
Too good-natured altogether. He is almost lax — • 
yes, lax is the word — he is not severe enough with 
his brother. Aunt Clara thinks so too. After 
the separation, he should have set his face against 
all further relations with him. 

Margaret. But they're in business together. 

Robert. Except business relations, of course. 
But to ask him down to stay under his roof! It 
was weak, Margaret — I am not sure it was not 
wicked, (virtuously) Certainly, it is not a thing 
/ shall ever do. 

Margaret. I suppose not. Indeed I hardly 
think Richard would come. 

Robert. He knows my principles too well. 



THE TWO MR. WETHERBYS. 51 

{Sound of key in front door is heard again. 
Door slam. Then voices) 

Margaret. There they are. (rises) 

Robert, (crossing to tahle and taking up hat 

and stick) Then I think I'll be going.- I do not 

wish to see more of Richard than I can help. 

One must not touch pitch ! 

Margaret, (going lip to door and opening it) 

Is that you, Jim? 

(James enters icith Dick — hoth have hats and 
coats) 

James, (entering) Yes, dear, (kisses her) 
Hullo, Robert, just off? 

Robert. Yes. It's rather late. Good night. 

(Exit L.) 

Dick. Now I call that very considerate of 
Robert, (crosses to fireplace, putting coat on 
table) 

Margaret, (coming down l. c.) (to James) 
Enjoyed your billiards, dear? 

James, (coming doicn l.) Thanks, yes, very 
much, (throivs his overcoat on to Dick's on 
table) 

Margaret. Who was at the Club? Anyone I 
know? 

James, (turning aicay to sideboard) No, I 
think not. It was rather empty — in fact we saw 
no one. 

Margaret, (c.) How strange! I wonder why 
that was? 



52 THE TWO MR. WETHERBYS. 

James, {diving into side'board for whiskey — 
sliglitly confused) Of course we were only in the 
hilllard room. There may have been lots of people 
in the other rooms. Drink, Dick? {puts spirits, 
etc., on table) 

Margaret. I see. Are you going to sit up, 
dear? 

James. For a little while. Why? 

Margaret. Hadn't you better change your 
coat? 

James. Oh, bother. I can't go all the way up- 
stairs, {gives Dick his drink) 

Margeret. Give it me, dear. I'm going now, 
and I'll bring you down an old jacket. 

{He half protests.) 

Oh yes, I will. It's no trouble. {Helps him off 
with dress coat) 

James. Angel! {kisses her.) 

Margaret. Goose ! 

{Exit J/argaret.) 
(James strolls over to fire.) 

Dick, {hy table watching James, taking out 
cigar and cutting off end) You're certainly a 
fluent liar, Jim. 

James. Yes. {ruefully) I've lots of practice, 
you see. 

Dick. Your sj^stem, eh? I prefer mine. It's 
not such a tax on the inventive faculties. 

James, {half bitterly) Just you wait till 
you're as fond of any one as I am of Margaret, 



THE TWO MR. WETHERBYS. 53 

and you'll find yourself lying with the best of 
them. 
Dick. Pessimist ! 

(Margaret enters with old jacket^ James goes up 
to meet her, Dick crosses to and stands hy fire- 
place) 

Margaret. Here you are, dear, {helps him 
into it) Don't be late. 

James, {kisses her) Of course not. Good 
night. 

Margaret. Good night, {kisses him) Good 
night, Richard. 

{Exit with little nod.) 

Dick, {ivalks down l.) I'm afraid dear Mar- 
garet hasn't as warm a regard for me as I de- 
serve. 

James, {coming to fireplace) I should have 
thought she managed that! 

Dick, {turning) Bravo! You're quite epi- 
grammatic to-night. Wonderful what a differ- 
ence an evening's escape from domesticity makes. 

James. Sour grapes, my boy. You weren't 
happy at home so you want to pretend no one else 
is. 

Dick, {crosses, sits l. of table c.) Oh, come, 
don't pretend you haven't enjoyed yourself to- 
night. When Kitty Harding was singing "Keep 
your feet off the grass, dearest," you laughed till 
I thought you'd have a fit. 



54 THE TWO MR. WETHERBYS. 

James, {giggling at the recollection) What 
a clever little beast she is ! 

Dick. A.-d that fellow who danced! What 
was the beggar's name? 

James, {pause tvJiile thinking) I forget. 
I've got the programme- in my coat, {goes to 
overcoat on table and feels in pockets) Where 
the deuce is it? {an aivfiil pause, during ivhich 
a look of terror comes into his face) Good heav- 
ens ! I believe it's in the pocket of my dress coat. 
(searches frantically) 

Dick, {comes doivn r. — placidly) It doesn't 
matter. We'll look in the morning. 

James. But my wife's got it. {throws coat 
into armchair down r.) 

Dick. So she has. But she's not likely to fer- 
ret in the pockets I suppose. 

James. Yes, she will. She always folds my 
things if they're lying about, and takes every- 
thing out of the pockets. 

Dick, {jumping up and coming to him down 
R.) What a way to treat a wife! Run upstairs 
at once. You may get there before she's found it. 

James, {pale tcith terror) But what can I 
do? She'd want to know what I came up for. 

Dick. Say you've left your handkerchief in 
the pocket — invent something as you go upstairs. 
You're a better liar than I am. Off with you! 
{pushes him across to c. and goes to fireplace) 

James. I daren't! Suppose she's found it 
already ! 

Dick. My dear chap, she wull if you don't go 
at once. Pull yourself together. 



THE TWO MR. WETHERBYS. 55 

(James goes to door, opens it and goes out, re- 
turning immediately and coming to armchair 

up R.) 

James (m a holloiv whisper) Too late. She's 
coming downstairs. What on earth's to be done? 

Dick. Steady, Jim. She may not have 
found it. 

James. If she has! 

Dick, (calmly) Then I should make a clean 
breast of it if I were you? 

James. About to-night? 

Dick. It would be a trifle late to do that ! 

James, {ruefully) I suppose it would. 

Dick. Tell her about everything. Save a lot 
of trouble in the end. And it'll make things 
easier for you in the future. 

James. I daresay you're right. But I simply 
haven't the pluck. 

Dick. Nonsense. Hush, here she is. Shall I 
make myself scarce? 

James. No. Back me up, for Heaven's sake. 

Dick. All right. Courage, old man. {leans 
his hack against mantelpiece and surveys scene) 

(Door opens enter Margaret — there is a long 
silence. She stands up l. near the door.) 

(aside to James) Better say something. 

James, (in a quavering voice) Do you want 
anything, dear? 

(S!J2e is still silent, looking at him steadily.) 

What is it, Maggie? 

Margaret. (programme in hand — sternly) 



56 THE TWO MR. WETHERBYS. 

Where were you to-night, James, while Robert 
and I were out? 

James. Why do you ask such a question? 

Margaret. Is it such a strange question for a 
wife to ask? 

James. I went up to London with Dick. 

Margaret. Where ? 

James. To the Empire. 

(There is an aiclctvard pause.) 

{aside to Dick) Own up, can't you? 

Dick, {in his calm tone) It was my sug- 
gestion, Margaret. I'm the culprit. 

Margaret, {to James) Why did you go? 

{He is silent.) 

Dick. Fact is I thought he needed livening 
up. A surfeit of missionary meetings 

Margaret, {icily) I was speaking to my hus- 
band, {turning again to James) Why did you 
tell me you went to the Club? 

James. We did mean to go there. 

Margaret. But you didn't go? You've not 
been there at all? 

James. No. 

(Margaret makes gesture of repulsion and walks 
down L.) 

Dick. My dear Margaret, don't fret about us! 
The Empire's a very moral place, far more re- 
spectable than most clubs. 

Margaret. I hardly consider you a judge of 
morality, Richard, {to James) Why did you 
tell me what was not true? 



THE TWO MR. WETHERBYS. 57 

James. I don't know — I suppose because it 
would have displeased you. 

Margaret, [bitterly) You were very consid- 
erate ! 

James, (stung hy Jicr tone — coming dotvn r. 
to RC.) Look here, Maggie, there's no use making 
a fuss about it. It was just a piece of folly, that's 
all. 

Margaret. Folly! To tell your wife a false- 
hood! 

James, (crossly) Oh well, there's nothing so 
startlingly original about that. 

Margaret. I didn't expect to hear a speech of 
that kind from ijou, James! With your high 
character 

James. Confound my character! 

Margaret (astonished) An evening in Rich- 
ard's company seems to have produced its effect. 
Or is that remark the result of your entertain- 
ment at a music hall? 

(James is silent.) 

Dick, (airily) Oh, 7'm the guilty party. 
The entertainment was irreproachable. 

Margaret. If you would kindly not interrupt, 
Richard. 

(Dick shrugs his shoulders.) 

Well, James, have you anything to say to me? 

James. Only that I'm sorry, Maggie. I am 
really. 

Margaret. Is that all? 

James, (r. c, goaded) What do you want me 
to say? I can't do more than apologise, can I? 



58 THE TWO MR. WETHERBYS. 

The thing's done now. Come, Maggie, shake 
hands and say you forgive me. {goes c. towards 
her holding out hand) 

Margaret, (l. c, refusing hand) No, James, 
I shall not forgive you. 

(James falls 'bach.) 

You have deceived me deliberately. 

Dick, (shocked) No! No! (moves to r. c.) 

Margaret. Yes, deliberately. You are not 
what I thought you, and I will never forgive you. 
{turns to go, tvalking up l.) 

James, (alarmed) Maggie! 

Margaret, (coldly, turning at door) Have 
you anything more to say? 

Dick, (hi/ James c.^ to him aside) Now's 
your time. Make a clean breast of it. You'll be 
glad of it afterwards. 

James. (pulling himself together — speaking 
sharply) Stop, Margaret! 

(She turns again.) 

I have something more to say. 

{^he comes down l. again.) 

Dick, (softly — aside) Bravo, Jim! {hack 
to fire) 

James, (c.) Maggie, I've been wanting to tell 
you this for a long time — (hesitates) 

Margaret. Go on. 

{During this scene Margaret gets colder, and 
more angry; James gets more self-possessed.) 

James. Maggie, I'm — (hesitates) — I'm not 



THE TWO MR. WETHERBY§. 59 

what you think me — I'm different — very different. 
(stops) 

Margaret. What do you mean? 

James. You think I'm an awfully good sort of 
chap, who doesn't care about amusement like 
other men. You think I'm only happy when I'm 
attending missionary meetings and reading to 
Aunt Clara. You're mistaken. 

Margaret, {sternly) So you weren't at the 
Otaheite Meeting! 

James. No, nor the Tobago Diocesan Confer- 
ence last week, nor the Hairy Ainos Protection 
Society, nor the Nova Zembla Mission, nor any 
of them. I don't like missions, they bore me. 

Margaret, (horrified) James! 

James. Oh yes, they do. You don't know it, 
but they do. I've gone on pretending for months 
that I liked them — and other things — just to 
please you. I've read Aunt Clara her newspaper 
and given Robert his subscriptions and generally 
made my life a burden because you liked it. I've 
done it long enough. I'm going to turn over a 
new leaf. 

Margaret, (icily) And all the time that you 
were pretending to go to these meetings, you were 
" amusing " yourself at low music halls, I sup- 
pose. 

Dick. Not low music halls. 

Margaret. Bah ! How you have fooled me ! 

James, (complacently) Yes, I'm afraid I've 
not been quite straightforward. But I'm going to 
reform from to-night. 

Margaret. How long has this been going on? 



60 THE TWO MR. WETHERBYS. 

James. I don't know. A year — eighteen 
months. 

Margaret, (hitterly) And we have only been 
married two years. 

James, {almost genially) It was partly your 
fault, you know. You would put me on a sort of 
pedestal. Of course I tumbled off. You ought 
to have expected it. You see your standard was 
too high for me. I tried to live up to it at first, 
honestly, I did, but it wasn't a success; I wasn't 
strong enough. But I think you ought to share 
the blame. 

Margaret. Men always throw the blame on 
women. 

James. Only when they deserve it, Maggie. 
So you see, there's nothing to be angry about. 
It's just a case of faults on both sides. Shake 
hands, dear, and give me a kiss, {advances to- 
wards her) 

Margaret, {draws hack a pace or two up 
stage — putting hands 'behind her hack) No, 
James, I will not shake hands. You have fooled 
me and cheated me. Our whole married life has 
been a sham. 

James. No, no, Maggie, {goes down l.) 

Margaret. {above him — fiercely) Yes, a 
cheat and a sham! {stamps her foot) Oh, how 
I despise you! How I despise myself for having 
been deceived by you ! Did you ever love me at 
all, I wonder, {half crying — tvalking to c.) 

James. You know I did, dear. 

Margaret, {turning c, angrily) I know 



THE TWO MR. WETHERBYS. 61 

nothing. You deceived me in everything else. 
Why not in that? 

James. Never mind, Maggie. Make it up and 
we'll start afresh to-morrow. Forget about all 
this; it's past, and I swear I'll always be open 
with you for the future. I will, really. 

Margaret. The future! (coldly) You don't 
suppose I can live with you again after this. 

(Dick raises eyehroics.) 

I should despise myself if I even thought of such 
a thing. 

James, [horrified) Maggie! 

Margaret. No, James, I shall leave this house 
to-morrow. I am no longer your wife. 

James, (alarmed) You can't. You have no 
right. 

Margaret. Not legally, perhaps. Morally I 
should do wrong to remain with you. 

James. I shall not allow you to go. 

Margaret. How will you prevent me? Cou- 
stantia left Richard for less. 

James. (growing more alarmed) Maggie, 
think! You're angry with me now. It is natural 
that you should be. But don't punish me too 
much. Don't leave me. Give me another chance. 

Margaret. And be deceived again? No, 
James! Indeed I don't think it would be right 
to forgive you. Men who behave as you have 
done deserve to suffer. 

James, (sadly) I didn't expect you would 
cast me off so readily, Maggie. 

Margaret. You are unjust. You know how 



62 THE TWO MR. WETHERBYS. 

I hate to do it. But I must, {almost 'breaking 
down) Oh, Jim, Jim, why did you tell me all 
this? Why didn't you leave me in ignorance? 

James, {gently) You found me out, dear. 

Margaret. Only about to-night. I could have 
forgiven you to-night. It's all these months of 
deception that I can't forget. 

James. You will. 

Margaret, {bursting into tears) No, If it 
was only to-night it would be different, but now 
that I know your v/hole life has been a lie, I can- 
not live with you any longer', {with a gulp) 
Good-bye, James, {solemnly she walks up l. c.) 

James, {startled) Where are you going? 

Margaret, {through her tears) To b-b-bed. 
I shall leave this house to-morrow after break- 
fast. 

{En-it in a hurst of emotion.) 

{There is a pause during tvhich Dick looks half- 
humourously at James, iclio goes half tvay up 
to door as if to follow, and then turns, walk- 
ing down L. c. He looks unutterably de- 
pressed. ) 

Dick. Curious how much alike sisters are. 

James, {brusquely) What do you mean? 

Dick. I remember an almost similar scene a 
year ago with Constantia. The marriage tie 
seems to sit loosely on our family. 

James, {snappishly) I shall be glad if you 
won't jest about it. 

Dick, {coming r. c.) Steady, old man. 



THE TWO MR. WETHERBYS. 63 

Don't quarrel with your brother as well as your 
wife in one evening. 

James, (coming c, penitent) I beg your par- 
don. I'm knocked out of time by all this, {an- 
grily) But I won't have you sneering at Mar- 
garet. She's a saint. 

Dick My dear Jim, to say that a lady re- 
sembles one's wife isn't usually described as 
sneering. 

James, (impatiently) Oh, you know what 
I mean. 

Dick, (c, putting Ids hand on James's shoul- 
der) Poor old boy, you do take it bad ! 

(James puts his head on his hands and his shoul- 
ders heave with sohs.) 

I say, don't do that for Heaven's sake. Easy, Jim, 
easy. She won't go, you know. 

James, (turning away i..) She will, I'm sure 
she will. You don't know Margaret. 

Dick. And if she does, there are worse things 
than being a bachelor again ! 

James, (laughing in spite of himself) That's 
right— make a joke about it. 

Dick. My remark was perfectly serious. 
(goes to R. of table.) 

James, (turning again and coming to l. of 
table) And the deuce of it all is if I hadn't taken 
your advice and blurted out the whole story like 
a fool, she would have forgiven me. 

James, (grimly) So she said, (pours him- 
self out another drink) 



64 THE TWO MR. WETHERBYS. 

James. And she would too. (crossly) I'll 
trouble jou not to question it. 

(Dick shrugs his sJioiilders.) 

This comes of your cursed policy of candour. 
After this I'll never speak the truth again as long 
as I live. Never! 

QUICK CURTAIN. 



THE TWO MR. WETHERBYS. 65 



ACT III. 

Scene. — TJie drawing-room at the James Weth- 
ERBYs/ The French windoivs on to garden are 
open. The sun shines hrilliantly. 

(Enter James and. Dick, the former looking 
wretchedly depressed. He goes to fire shiver- 
ing, and wa7ius hands.) 

Dick, {strolling iip to open tvindoiv and look- 
ing out) Jove, what a glorious morning! 

James. Is it? I hadn't noticed, (l.) 

Dick. You didn't eat any breakfast. How 
the deuce is a fellow to notice anything on an 
empty stomach.? 

James. I wasn't hungry. 

Dick. Ah. / was. (turning to him and no- 
ticing his depression. Then going to him more 
sympathetically) Fretting, Jim? 

James. I suppose so. 

Dick, (affectionately) What a soft-hearted 
beggar it is. Cheer up. 

James, (savagely) One would think being 
about to be separated from one's wife was an 
everyday occurrence to hear you talk! (crosses 
toe.) 



66 THE TWO MR. WETHERBYS. 

Dick, {humouring him) No, no, not quite 
that. But will she go? That's the question. 
(L. c.) 

James. You heard what she said last night. 

Dick, (easily) Oh, I don't attach much im- 
portance to that! 

James, (r. c.^ Mtterly) I'm afraid I can't 
share your confidence. 

Dick. Not seen her to-day? 

James. No. She wasn't at breakfast, as you 
saw. 

Dick, {horrified) Has she had no breakfast 
either? 

James. I don't know. 

Dick, {holding up his hands) What a house- 
hold! Aunt Clara, too? ^She wasn't down. I 
assume she also is fasting? 

James. She always has breakfast in her room. 

Dick (cheerfully) I congratulate you. 
Rol)crt, I suppose you're never safe from? 

Servant, (announcing) Mr. Robert Carne! 

Dick, (sitting in armchair — sardonically) 
Ah, I thought so! 

(Enter Robert.) 

James, (crosses r., sulkily) Good morning. 

Robert. Good morning, James. I thought I 
should find Margaret here. 

James. She's not come down yet. 

Robert. Ah. I'll wait, (sits on ottoman) 

James. She won't be down for some time. 
Perhaps you'd better come in later. 

Robert. I've nothing special to do. 



THE TWO MR. WETHERBYS. 67 

(James makes gesture of despair at Robert's oh- 
tuseness hehind Robert's hack. There is a 
pause. Then he turns hack to Robert and 
speaks^ hesitating hctiveon each lie and obvi- 
ously taxing his powers of invention.) 

James. She may not be here for an hour. She 
has a headache. I advise you to go out for a 
stroll. She may be a long time yet. (r.) 

Robert, (c.) Well, perhaps I'd better come 
back. 

{Exit r.) 

(James gives a sigh of relief.) 

Dick. (l.) {looking at James .curiously) 
My dear Jim, do you never speak the truth? 

James. Eh? No. {bitterly) I suppose I've 
got out of the habit, {sits c.) 

Dick, {rises and comes c.) Why didn't you 
kick the beggar out instead of inventing all that 
rot about Margaret? 

James. I ought to have done so, I suppose. 
It would have been more straightforward. But 
I'm hopelessly demoralised. I can't bear hurting 
the feelings of anyone, even an ass like Robert. 

Dick. What a good chap you are ! 

James, {with a hitter laugh) Good! 

{Enter Margaret, she looks pale as if after a 
sleepless night. But there is no sign of soften- 
ing in her face. ) 

{rising and going towards her with outstretched 
hands) Good morning, Maggie. 



68 THE TWO MR. WETHERBYS. 

Margaret. Is that you, James? I tlionght 
jou would have gone up to business by now. 
{ignores hand.) 

James, {drops hand to his side and turns 
away) Vm not going. I telegraphed up this 
morning. They'll let me know if there's anything 
important. 

Margaret. I came to collect a few things out 
of this room, which I should like to take with me. 

James, (l.) {hopelessly) You are still re- 
solved to go? 

Margaret. Quite, James. 

James. Where? 

Margaret. To Constantia in the first instance. 
I daresay she can find room for me for a time. 
Afterwards, some arrangement will have to be 
made between us, I suppose. But the lawyers 
can see to all that. They did in Coustantia's case, 
did they not? {she looks toivards Dick as she 
says this, hut does not address him directly.) 

Dick, {cheerily) Oh, yes. They'll manage it 
all right. In an amicable separation of this 
kind, they're invaluable. You leave it to them, 
{at hack) 

James, {goes to Margaret r. c, standing a 
little ahove her — in loiv voice) Is it quite use- 
less to urge you to pause before you do this, 
Maggie? 

Margaret. Quite useless, James. My mind is 
made up. (crosses to l. c.) Constantia will be 
here in a few minutes. I have written to her. 
Perhaps it would be better if you were not here 
when she arrived — either of you — it would be 



THE TWO MR. WETHERBYS. 69 

painful to everybody, {including Dick in her 
looJCy hut still not addressing liim.) 

Dick. Quite right. Let's go out into the gar- 
den, Jim, and give Constantia a fair field, {goes 
towards window, where he stands looking grimly 
towards others.) 

James. I shall see you before you go? 

Margaret. If you wish it. 

James, {breaking out — crossing to her) Mag- 
gie, if you only knew how sorry I am ! How 
ashamed ! 

Margaret. {raising her hand) Please! If 
you wish to see me to say good-bye, I am willing, 
but don't try to change my resolution. You will 
not succeed. 

{Exeunt James and Dick c.) 

(Margaret, left alone , takes small tray from 
piano R., and wanders round room collecting 
various trifles, a small clock in case, a couple 
of hooks, a silver scent hottle, etc. She pauses 
hy photograph of James on mantle-piece, takes 
it up, looks at it for some time, half puts it 
down again, then seems to make up her mind 
and takes it, adding it to pile on small tahle up 
L. c.) 
Servant, {announcing) Mrs. Richard Weth- 

erby. 

(Enter Constantia.) 

{Exit Maid^ r.) 

Constantia. {fussily— going over to her l. c.) 
My dear Margaret, what has happened? I came 



70 THE TWO MR. WETHERBYS. 

at once. Are you in trouble of any kind? Your 
note explained nothing. 

Margaret. I thought I would rather tell you 
myself. I have discovered that James lias been 
deceiving me, and I am leaving him. Can you 
take me in for a few days? 

CoNSTANTiA. (astonisJicd) Of course, dear, 
with pleasure — that is, I mean, are you really 
obliged to take this step? 

Margaret. I am obliged to do so. No other 
course is open to me. 

CoNSTANTiA. But, my dear, this is very sud- 
den. James, too ! So high principled as he al- 
ways" appeared! Are you sure there has been no 
mistake? 

Margaret. He has admitted everything. 

CONSTANTIA. How extraordinary ! I never 
should have thought that of James! But there 
• — you never knoAv men! {sits c.) When do you 
think of coming to me? 

Margaret. To-day, if you can have me. I am 
merely putting a few things together to take with 
me. {adding something to the pile on small 
tahle L. c.) 

CONSTANTIA. Quite right, dear. You can't be 
too careful about that. I left such a lot of things 
behind me, when I left Richard, that I wanted 
afterwards ! Plate, for instance, and knives ! I 
took not a single spoon or fork, and the same with 
table linen. 

Margaret, {crosses at hack, sits r.) I was 
not thinking of those things. I shall only take 
a few personal belongings, nothing of value. 



THE TWO MR. WETHERBYS, 71 

CoNSTANTiA. Is that wise^ dear? Of course 
James must make you a suitable allowance. My 
own from Richard was most meagre! And even 
a small establishment costs so much to start. 
The merest necessaries are so expensive. And 
they wear out in no time nowadays. 

Margaret, [listlcssli/) I dare say. 

CoNSTANTiA. But tcU me, dear, when did you 
find out this about James? 

Margaret. Last night. It seems that for 
months he and Richard have been spending most 
of their evenings in low dissipation. 

CONSTANTIA. Richard was the tempter, of 
course ? 

Margaret, (listlessly) I suppose so. 

CoN&TANTiA. {rising energetically) Margaret 
there must be an end of this. Richard must not 
be allowed to exercise his malign influence unfet- 
tered. My mind is made up. I shall put a stop 
to it! 

Mar<];aret. How will you do that? 

CONSTANTIA. (decidedly) By returning to 
his roof! As long as he is living as a bachelor 
there is no check on his depravities. But when 
/ am with him I can at least see that he keeps 
within bounds, (r. c.) 

Margaret, (r.) You will go back to him? 
You will forgive him? 

CONSTANTIA. No. I shall not forgive him. 
He has not deserved that. But I shall go back 
to him. I cannot allow him to retain his liberty 
any longer. When I separated from him it was 
to punish his misconduct and give him an oppor- 



72 THE TWO MR. WETHERBYS. 

tunity for repentance, not to enable him to plunge 
deeper into vice and folly, [crosses to fire.) 

Margaret. But Constantia ! Ought you to do 
this? Won't you be very unhappy? [rises) 

Constantia. {calmly) I shall be able to 
bear it. Indeed, I have not found my life apart 
from Richard so happy either. The house is 
very small and the dining-room chimney smokes. 
(sits at desk) Of course these things do not 
tvcigh with me, but they exist. And you must 
remember that it was (hity which made me leave 
my husband, not pleasure. The lot of a woman 
living apart from her husband has great incon- 
veniences. It may be right that she should do it, 
it may be right that you should, dear, but it is 
not pleasant! 

Margaret, [sits on ottoman — bitterly) The 
life of a woman who lives with a husband she no. 
longer loves is not pleasant either. 

Constantia. No doubt, (in a practical tone) 
Still, of the two, I think I prefer it. {pause) 
And in any case we can only take the course 
which we believe to be right. My duty is clearly 
to return to Richard and to watch over him more 
carefully in future. 

Margaret. Then you will not be able to take 
me in for a few days? 

Constantia. No, dear. I shall be going back 
to town with Richard this afternoon. But you 
can have my house for the present with pleasure. 
Houses are always better occupied, aren't they? 
And I shall probably not be able to let it im- 
mediately. 



1:*HE TWO MR. WETHERBYS. 73 

Margaret, You intend to speak to Richard 
to-day? 

CoNSTANTiA. {briskhj) Yes. At once, if you 
will kindly send for him. 

Margaret, {rises) Very well. {rings hell) 
And now if you don't mind I'll go upstairs and 
finish my packing. 

{Enter Maid.) 

Will you ask Mr. Richard to come here, Jane? 
He is in the garden. Take these things upstairs 
when you have done so. {points to things on 
sofa and 

{Exits R.) 

(Maid exit c, returning a moment later with 
Dick.) 

{Then exits Maid icith tray full of things, r.) 

Dick. (l. c.) Hullo, Constantia! You here? 
You want to see me? 

Constantia. (l.). Yes, Richard. 

Dick. But this isn't in the agreement. The 
agreement said that we were to meet once a year. 
I really can't talk to you two days running! 

Constantia. This is not a time for jesting. 

Dick. It never is — with you, Constantia! 

{She makes impatient gesture.) 

Well, what do you want to say to me? 

Constantia. Richard, I have heard of youl* 
shocking behaviour. 



74 THE TWO MR. WETHERBYS. 

Dick. Not for the first time, I am sure. 

CoNSTANTiA. It appears, from what Margaret 
has told mc, that you now abuse your liberty as 
shamelessly as you formerly abused your posi- 
tion as a husband. In the one case you made my 
life wretched. In the other you lead others into 
temptation. 

Dick. Meaning poor old Jim? 

CoNSTANTiA. I mean your unhappy brother 
James. 

Dick, (nodding) I suppose it's the same per- 
son. 

CONSTANTIA. What I have now to say to you 
is, that I cannot permit you to be a source of 
moral contamination to others any longer. 

Dick. I see. You're going to keep your eye 
on me from Norwood? Very sporting of you to 
warn me beforehand. 

CONSTANTIA. No, Richard, I am going to re- 
turn to you as your wife! (rises) 

Dick, (his jaw di'ops) Oh no, you're not! 
(moves R.) 

CONSTANTIA. I beg your pardon. 

Dick. (r. c.) My dear Constantia, pray dis- 
miss this idea from your mind altogether. You 
will not return to me because I decline to re- 
ceive you. 

CONSTANTIA. (l. c. ttstonished) You refuse? 

Dick, (c.) Of course I refuse. You don't 
love me. You told me that yesterday. And now 
your only idea in returning to me is to keep an 
eye on my moral character. You don't suppose 
I shall like that, do you? 



THE TWO MR. WETHERBYS. 75 

CoNSTANTiA. (l. c. ) {frigidly) It was not 
intended that jou should. 

Dick. Precisely. So I decline to submit my- 
self to the experiment. 

CoNSTANTiA. I shall insist upon it. (loftily) 
It is the duty of a husband and wife to live to- 
gether. 

Dick. It's taken you some time to find out 
that! (slight movement to r. c.) 

CoNSTANTiA. (tttkcs tt Step after him — after a 
pause) Tell me, Richard, what is your reason 
for this refusal? You must have a reason. 

Dick. My dear Constantia, it's simple enough, 
I no longer love you. 

Constantia. (starting hack to l. c.) You 
dare tell me that! 

Dick. Why not? You no longer love me. 
You told me so yesterday. 

Constantia. (walks down l.) There's some 
other reason. I'm sure of it. If you no longer 
care for me it must be because you have met 
someone else. 

Dick, (sits c.) My dear, don't be childish. 

Constantia. (turning) Oh, you can't put me 
off in that way. A man doesn't want to live 
apart from his wife in this discreditable manner 
unless there is some other woman he loves better. 

Dick. What shocking ideas you moral j)eople 
have. 

Constantia. (coming and standing over him 
c.) If you were not irreclaimably vicious you 
would welcome this chance of a reconciliation. 



76 THE TWO MR. WETHERBYS. 

Dick. Vicious? Nonsense, I'm not vicious. 
I'm a very moral person. 

CoNSTANTiA. Then you deceived me grossly. 
You always told me you were vicious. 

Dick. I think not. 

CoNSTANTiA. Well, when I said so, you never 
denied it. 

Dick. I always used to let you have your own 
way. That's why you left me. Women like to 
be tyrannised over. 

CONSTANTIA. (sJic tttkcs tt fcw paccs doivn R., 
and turns — controlling herself with difficulty) 
Will you answer me one question? 

Dick, (blandly) No. I don't think I will. 
In fact this whole interview is most irregular. 
You must keep it for next year. 

CoNSTANTiA. You'i'e Unbearable. 

Dick, (rises, triumphantly) That's why 
we're so much better apart. I'm sure you feel 
that? 

CONSTANTIA. (coming up to him c, fiercely) 
You won't get rid of me so easily. 

Dick, (sweetly) Not altogether perhaps. 
But the relative freedom I at present enjoy suits 
me well enough. 

CONSTANTIA. (crosscs to him, L. c. — he gets 
R. c.) (Furious) I'll find a way of punishing 
you for this! 

Dick, (laughing) Threats! My dear Con, 
you shock me. Why should you object? 
You'll be happy enough. You'll have Margaret 
with you, you know. 



THE TWO MR. WETHERBYS. 77 

(CoNSTANTiA makcs a gesture of rage, She walks 
down L.) 

As for Jim he will share my flat in Maddox 
Street. It's b^'g enough for two. 

(James passes windoio front to r. Dick calls 
out) 

(r. c.) Won't you, Jim? 

James, (coming to window) What did you 
say? 

Dick. I was telling Constantia you and I 
were going to settle down together in Maddox 
Street. 

Constantia. (crosses to Dick with gesture 
of fury) Brute! 

(Exit R., in a towering passion.) 

Dick. Come in, Jim. I never could resist the 
temptation to chatf Constantia. 

James, (coming down l. c, sarcastically) 
I suppose she liked that? 

Dick. (r. c.) If she did, she concealed the 
feeling very successfully. But how about you, 
old man? You don't look very bright. Wife not 
forgiven you yet? 

James. No. She's determined to leave me. 

Dick. Lucky fellow! My wife wants to re- 
turn to me! I'm far more to be pitied, 

James, (irritahly) I wish to heaven you'd 
be serious sometimes. 

Dick. Serious? I'm deuced serious. Why, I 
tell you, my dear chap, if I hadn't been abso- 
lutely rude to Constantia, she'd have thrown her- 



78 THE TWO MR. WETHERBYS. 

self into my arms and we should have had to be- 
gin married life all over again! I shouldn't 
have liked that at all. 

James. Why did she want to go back? It 
seems an odd taste. 

Dick. Taste had nothing to do with it. It 
was pure conscientiousness on her part. She 
thinks she ought to look after me. 

James. And you refused to take her back? 

Dick, (nods) Certainly. 

James, [disgusted) You must be an abso- 
lute brute, (sits c.) 

Dick. Why? She left me of her own choice. 
I-m not going to be sent about my business and 
then whistled back again at a moment's notice. 
What would you say (crosses to l. c.) if Mar- 
garet told you she'd altered her mind and wasn't 
going to leave you after all? 

James, (enthusiastically) Say? Why that 
she was the dearest, kindest, most forgiving little 
soul in the world. 

Dick, (horrified) My dear fellow! 

James. Confound you, Dick, can't you under- 
stand that I love Margaret — that there's nothing 
on earth I wish so much as to be reconciled to 
her? 

Dick. And go back to the old slavery? 

James. It wasn't slavery. It was happiness. 

(Dick gasps.) 

Dick. Well, you certainly have the most curi- 
ous conception of happiness. But there, go back 
to your Margaret, if you must! 



THE TWO MR. WETHERBYS. 'J'J 

James. If I only could! 

Dick. But don't expect me to take back Con- 
stantia, because I shan't. 

James. I don't believe you're serious. 

Dick. I'm perfectly serious, {looking at him 
keenly) Are you? 

James. About Margaret? Of course. 

(Dick shrugs his shoulders.) 

Dash it, man, one would think it was unusual 
for a husband to want to be reconciled to his 
wife! 

Dick. 'Tisn't what you'd call common! But 
there, it's your taste. Send her down to me. 
Say I've something to say to her. 

(James rises.) 

I daresay I can bring her to reason, (in an off- 
hand way.) 

James. She won't come. 

Dick. Oh yes, she will — from curiosity. 

(Exit James r.^ disgusted at this parting piece of 
cynicism. ) 

(While he is atvay Dick strolls about room, ex- 
amining Philistine decorations with every sign 
of contempt. Notices gap on mantelpiece tchere 
Jim's picture used to he. Whistles. Enter 
Margaret. He turns hurriedly and stands 
with hack to fireplace.) 
Margaret. You wish to speak to me? 
Dick. Yes. Sit down. 
Margaret, (sits c, l. of ottoman) I should 



80 THE TWO MR. WETHERBYS. 

tell you at once that if your intention is to 
plead on James's behalf, you are only wasting 
your time. 

Dick, {airily) Oh, it isn't. I think Jim's 
rather well out of it. 

Margaret, {tvith frozen dignity) I beg your 
pardon? 

Dick. It isn't half bad being a bachelor again, 
at least that's my experience. 

Margaret. James is not of your opinion. 

Dick. He will be. Not at first of course, but 
afterwards, and anyhow he'll get accustomed to 
it. It's astonishing how quickly men get itsed 
to things. He'll drop back into the old bachelor 
ways. No Aunt Clara! {impressively) No Rob- 
ert ! Oh, Jiell be happy enough. You needn't 
fret about him! 

Margaret. It's not true. James is not like 
that. 

Dick. My dear Margaret, men are very much 
alike. He'll get to enjoy his freedom as I have 
done. 

Margaret, {fiercely) He won't! He won't! 
You're heartless and selfish.- You don't feel at 
all. Jim loves me. 

Dick, {pause — quietly) I used to love Con- 
stantia. 

Margaret. Used to love! 

Dick. Yes. {with obvious sincereity) People 
say that love never dies. On the contrary love is 
killed, oh so easily. A word, a look, moments of 
temper, inopportune tears. How they kill love ! 

Margaret. I don't believe vou. 



THE TWO MR. WETHERBYS. 81 

Dick. Oh yes, you do. And besides these, 
there are other things — boredom, relations — 
you're not very fortunate in the matter of rela- 
tions, are you? Little failures of tact and taste, 
little errors of judgment, all these contain a drop 
of the poison which may help to kill love ! 

Margaret, (wondering) Why do you speak 
to me like this? You are quite serious. I thought 
you were never serious. 

Dick. I'm not often — fortunately. 

Margaret, [puzzled) But why now? [ris- 
ing angrily) I see what it is. This is a trap. You 
want to make me forgive James. 

Dick, [in his most exasperating manner') My 
dear Margaret, be sensible. Sit down. Why on 
earth should / want you to forgive Jim? I like 
him! 

Margaret, [stung) What do you mean? 

Dick. You see if you leave Jim / shall see a 
lot more of him than I do now. As far as I am 
concerned the more completely you sever your 
connection with him the better. 

Margaret. [triumj)hantly) But he wouldn't 
be happy. 

Dick. Ah, we don't agree about that. 

Margaret, [sitting down) Then why did you 
send for me? Why have you spoken to me at all? 
If you would rather I left James why need you 
do anything but just leave us to part as we tvere 
doing? 

Dick. Were? Your resolution is wavering, 
you see. [moves slightly towards her) 

Margaret, [hotly) It is not! 



g2 THE TWO MR. WETHERBYS. 

Dick, (calmly) I misunderstand you then. 
So much the better for me. / get Jim instead, you 
don't ! 

Margaret, {bewildered) I don't understand. 
You haven't told me yet why you're trying to 
bring us together — if you are trying. 

Dick, (dispassionately) It's a sort of ran- 
dom benevolence on my part. I have fits of it. 

Margaret, (peevishly) What do you mean? 

Dick. The fact is I was talking to poor old 
Jim a few minutes ago, and he really did seem 
most awfully fond of you and all that, in spite 
of the way you've behaved 

Margaret. (rising angrily) Vvc behaved! 
Thank you, Richard. That will do. I told you 
it was useless for you to plead on James's behalf. 
I 'am now sure of it. (going up r.) 

Dick, (laughing) Come back, Margaret. 
You misunderstand me. If you would kindly 
have let me finish my sentence. 

Margaret. Well? (turns to face him hut 
docs not come hack.) 

Dick. Let me see, where was I? Oh, I found 
that Jim was awfully fond of you — absurdly so 
it seemed to me — and you're awfully fond of 
him too, you know, though you won't admit it 
at present. 

Margaret. I don't see that that is any reason 
why you should have interfered. 

Dick, (impatiently) My dear Margaret, 
when I see a woman deliberately throwing away 
her own happiness, I think it's only kind to warn 
her. That's all. 



THE TWO MR. WETHERBYS. 83 

Margaret. Her happiness? 

Dick. Yes. (pause) Jim will get over this 
all right, as I said. Men do. They're tough. And 
they've lots of distractions. It's different with 
women, (coldly) So I thought I'd just give 
you a hint before it was too late. 

Margaret, (sarcastically) Isn't it rather 
late for tjou to begin to consider me? 

Dick. I dare say. But it's not too late for 
you to consider yourself. 

Margaret, (haughtily) I haven't the least 
idea what you mean by that. 

Dick. Sit down and I'll try to make myself 
clear. 

(She sits. He sits Uside her. Both sit on 
ottoman. Margaret r. Dick l. of it.) 

Margaret. Well ? 

Dick. Do you know what passed between my- 
self and Constantia this morning? 

Margaret. Yes. A reconciliation. 

Dick No. Your sister wished for one. At 
least she wished to patch up our marriage some- 
how. I refused. 

Margaret. You refused? 

Dick Yes. (pause) I'm happier as I am. 

Margaret. And Constantia? Didn't you 
think at all of her? 

Dick. Constantia made her choice a year ago. 

She can't alter it now. 

Margaret. And are you never going to live 
with her again? Never at all? 



84 THE TWO MR. WETHERBYS. 

Dick, (cheerfully) Never! On that point I 
am quite clear, (there is a pause) 

Margaret, (slowly) I still don't see what 
all this has to do with me. 

Dick, (airily) Merely a parallel case. 
That's all. 

Margaret, (in a ivhisper) Parallel? 

Dick, (sternly) Yes. I loved Constant ia 
once. Jim loves you now. Constantia sulked 
with me, badgered ine, bored me, finally left me 
as you are leaving Jim. Poor woman, she 
thought she would be happy living alone. At 
least she thought she would be contented. So do 
you. She was mistaken. You can see it in her 
face, the lonely look of the woman who has no 
home. x\nd we have only been separated a year! 
Yet she so hates her present life that this morning 
nothing but my direct refusal to receive her pre- 
vented her from returning to me. What a situa- 
tion! How humiliating and disastrous! Think 
carefully, Margaret, before you do as she did. 

Margaret, (half to herself) What an escape! 
What an escape! 

Dick. You will think carefully? Not for 
Jim's sake, Margaret, htit for your oicn! 

(Margaret hursts into tears.) 

(rises) There, there, that's all right, dry your 
eyes and then go and make it up with Jim. • 

Margaret, (trying to stifle her sohs) B . . . 
b . . but will he forgive me? Will he make it up? 

Dick, (grimly) Oh yes, he'll forgive you all 
right. 



THE TWO MR. WETHERBYS. 85 

Margaret, {rising and drying her eyes) It'« 
very imjiist. Men always have the best of it. 
They do wrong and we suffer. 

Dick. Ah well, you manage to make it pretty 
disagreeable for them too sometimes ! 

Margaret, {half crying) I thought I w^as do- 
ing right. Jim behaved very badly. It was my 
duty to punish him. 

Dick. You don't call punishing your husband 
duty? I call it pleasure. 

Margaret, {laughing through her tears) 
You're very horrid! But you meant this kindly. 
You're not really had, Dick. I see that now. 

Dick, {hacks up l., alarmed) For Heaven's 
sake don't begin putting me on a pedestal ! It 
wouldn't suit me at all. {going to door, opens it 
and calls) Jim! Jim! {to ;Margaret) Come, 
summon up a smile to greet your husband. Ever 
such a litle one! 

{She smiles faintly. She crosses l. and turns to- 
wards him up stage.) 

{Enter Jim.) 

Jim, go to your wife and tell her you're heartily 
ashamed of yourself and will never do anything 
wrong again, and perhaps she'll forgive you. I'll 
go upstairs and finish packing. I sha'n't be two 
minutes. 

{Emt R.^ hastily.) 

James, {coming doicn r.) Margaret! Is it 
true? Will you forgive me this time? 

Margaret, {to him c.) Yes, Jim, if you'll 



86 THE TWO MR. WETHERBYS. 

promise never to hide anything from me again. 
{Enihraccs hhn.) 

James. Angel ! Of course I promise. I'll 
never hide anything from you in future. And I'll 
never go anywhere with Dick again as long as 
I live! 

Margaret. Oh no, Jim, you mustn't say that. 
I've changed my opinion about Dick. I believe 
he's quite good really, nearly as good as you are, 
only not so serious. I should like him to come 
and stay with us. He's fond of you, Jim. 

James. What will Aunt Clara say to that? 

Margaret. Aunt Clara will not be here. She 
must go away; and Robert too. In future we 
must have our house to ourselves, and live our 
lives in our own* way. 

James, (emhracing) Margaret, you're a 
trump! But I'll deserve it. I swear I will. I'll 
do whatever you wish, {draws her down on sofa 
'beside him.) 

Margaret. Dear old Jim. {strokes his hair 
affectionately) 

{Enter Dick with hag and overcoat.) 

Dick. Hullo, not finished yet? 

(Margaret moves away from him hastily.) 

James. Confound you, Dick, don't interrupt. 
{possesses himself of Margaret^s hand.) 

Dick. Not for worlds. But as my train goes 
in ten minutes, I thought you might find time to 
say good-bye to me. {comes down r. c.) 



THE TWO MR. WETHERBYS. 87 

James, {rises and going r.) You're not going 
before lunch? 

Margaret. Do stay. 

Dick. No. {getting into coat) The atmos- 
phere of this place is altogether too connubial. 
(R. c.) I must get back to my lonely flat in Mad- 
(lox Street, where no wives are admitted. Good- 
bye, Maggie. Good bye, Jim. Don't be too good 
either of you! And when you see Constantia, 
tell her I've 

(James and Margaret go l. c. together.) 

decided to remain a grass widower permanently. 

{Turns to go, picking up hag and hat. Margaret 
and James stand hand in hand. As he reaches 
door R. etitcr Constantia dressed as for jour- 
ney. In her hand she carries a dressing hag.) 

Hullo, Con, I was just speaking of you. What is 
the use of that confounded agreement if you keep 
poi)ping up in this way? What are you doing 
here? 

Constantia. I came to find you, Richard. 

Dick. But this is quite out of order. You 
were to see me once a year, not twice a day. Be- 
sides, I'm just off to London. 

Constantia. I also am going to London. 

Dick. By this train? 

Constantia. Yes. 

Dick, {cross r. c. to r.) Very well, l^ou've 
just time to catch it. {sits down r.) I'll take 
the next. 



BS THE TWO MR. WETHERBfS. 

CoNSTANTiA. No, Ricliard, we shall go to- 
gether, {comes down r. c.) 

Dick. What ! 

CoNSTANTiA. I have made up my mind to for- 
give jou. I consider it my duty. 

Dick, {with the calmness of despair) There 
seems to be a perfect epidemic of forgiveness 
down here just now. Here's Margaret who has 
made it up with Jim, and there they stand hold- 
ing one another's hands in a manner that's per- 
fectly sickening. 

(Margaret jmlls licr hand away guiltily.) 

And now yon want to forgive me! I don't want 
to be forgiven ! I won't be forgiven ! 

CONSTANTIA. {stemly) Margaret! Is this 
true? 

Margaret. Yes, Connie. 

CONSTANTIA. Tudecd ! Well, I only hope you 
will not live to regret it. You appear to me to 
have acted with undue precipitation ! 

James, (l.) We're going to risk it! 

Constantly, (c. with grunt of disapproval, 
turning to Dick) Well, Richard. I am ready. 

Dick, (r.) I'm not. I decline to allow you 
to come with me. 

CONSTANTIA. {firmly) Nothing but physical 
violence will prevent me. 

Dick, {rises ^ reproachfully) Look here, Con, 
is this fair? I allowed you to leave me when you 
wanted to. You\e no right to change your mind 
now. It's fickle, that's what I call it. Beastly 
fickle! 



THE TWO MR. WETHERBYS. 89 

CoNSTANTiA. This IS not a moment for jesting. 

Dick, {disgusted) It certainly isn't! 

CoNSTANTiA. {stcrnly) Then if you will take 
up your bag, perhaps we had better start. 

Dick. I'm dashed if I will. I can't take you 
to Maddox Street. You'd be awfully uncomfort- 
able there. 

CONSTANTIA. I shall do very well. You said 
there was room for two only this morning. 

(Dick makes a cjestnre of despair.) 

Margaret, (l. c. — coaxingly) Dick, be nice 
to her. You're not hard-hearted really, though 
you like to preteud to be. Take her back. 

Dick. Look here, Maggie, I call that pretty 
rough. Is this my reward for reconciling you to 
your husband? 

Margaret. Well, I'm only trying to reconcile 
you to your wife. 

Dick, (r.) {disgusted) Dash it all I Don't 
joke about it. One humourist is enough in any 
family. 

James. Make it up, old man. It isn't half 
bad being married after all, eh, Maggie? And 
you can't prevent her from coming unless you 
call in the police! Y^ou only separated by mutual 
consent. 

Dick, {resigning himself) Very well. Look 
here. Con, if you'll say you're sorry for the way 
you've treated me, and will let me do everything 
that I please in future and always laugh at my 
jokes, I'll forgive you. I can't say fairer than 
that. 



90 THE TWO MR. WETHERBYS. 

Margaret. Say jevS, Connie. 
Dick, {to her more kindly) Come, Con, dr. 
the thing handsomely. Is it yes? 
CoNSTANTiA. Yes, Richard. 

(They shake hands.) 

CURTAIN. 

(At second curtain Constantia is hy door fol- 
lowed hy Dick, carrying BOTH the hags.) 



THE END. 



{French' s Standard Drama Continued from 2d page of Cover.) 



vol.. X\.\. 
Th« Piraw's Ugacj- 
The Ch»r.o»l Burinr 
Adelgitb* 
Seoor Valiente 
Kore»t Kose 
Duke's l)»ug;hter 
Camilla's Hutband 
Pure Gold 

VUL. XLII. 
Ticket of Leave Man 
Fool't Revenge 
O'Neil the Great 
Handy Andy 
Pirate of the Islei 
Kauchon 
Little Barefoot 
Wild Iriih Girl 

VOL. XLIIL 
Pearl of Savoy 
Dead Heart 

Ten Niehta in a Bar-room 
Dumb Boy of Manchester 
Belpheifor the Mounteb'k 
Cricket on the Hearth 
Printer'! Devil 
Meg'» Diveraion 



VuL. XLIV. 
;i45 Dniiikard's Doom 
'JA% Chimntv Corner 
iil Fifteen Vearsnf a Drunk- 
:i4S No Thoroughfare I ard's 
M-i Peep O' Day L Life 

XnO Everybody's Friend 
MX Gen. Grant 
'ii-i Katiile^B Mavourneen 

VDL. XLV. 
;i53 Nick WhifHes - 
.■i54 Fruits of the Wine Cup 
355 Drunkard's Warning 
:<56 Temperance Doctor 
ibl Aunt Dinah 

358 Widow Freeheart 

359 Frou Frou 

360 Long Strike 

VOL. XLVf. 

361 Lancers 
36i Lu. ille 

363 Randall's Thumb 

364 Wicked World 

365 Two Orphans 

366 Colleen Bswn 

367 'Twixt Axe and Crown 

368 Lady Clancarthy 



VOL. XLVn. 
36» SaraU)ga 
37U Nerer Too Ijite to Mend 

371 Lily of France 

372 Led Astray 

373 Henry V 

374 Unequal Match 

375 May or Dolly's Delusion 

376 AUatooiia 

VOL. XLVIIL 
37T Enoch Arden 

378 Under the Gas Light 

379 Daniel Rochat 

380 Caste 

381 School 
3b2 Home 

383 David Garrick 

384 Ours 

VOL. XLIX. 
.385 Social Glass 

386 Daniel Druce 

387 Two Roses 

388 Adrienne 

389 The Bells 

390 Uncle 

391 Courtship 

392 Not Such a Fool 



VOL. L. 

393 Fine Fealbers 

394 I'roiiipter's B»i 

395 Iron Master 

396 Engaged 

97 Pygmalion k 0«l»t»» 
.W8 l.eah 
.i99 Scrap of Papsr 

400 Lost in lK>ndoa 

VOL. LI. 

401 Octoroon 

402 Confederate Spy 

403 Mariner's Returm 

404 Ruined by Driak 

405 Dreams 

406 M. P. 

407 War 

408 Birth 
VOL. LII. 

409 Nightingale 

410 Progress 

411 Play 

412 Midnight Chug* 

413 Confidential Clerk 

414 Snowball 

415 Our Regiment 

416 Married for Mosey , 
Hamlet in Three Act* 
Guttle <k Gulpit 



FRENCH'S INTERNATIONAL COPYRIGHTED EDITION 
OF THE WORKS OF THE BEST AUTHORS. 

The following very successful plays have just been issued at 25 cents per copy. 



▲ PAIR OF SPECTACLES. Comedy In 3 Act* 
by Sydniy Grundy, author of "Sowing th« Wind," 
4c. 8 male, 3 female characters. \ 

A FOOL'S PARADISE. An original play In 3 
Acts bv Sydnky Gkunty, author of "Sowing the 
Wind,'' Ac. 5 male, 4 female characters. 

THE SILVER SHIELD. An original comedy in 
3 Acts by SvnNiY Ghundy, author of "Sowing the 
Wind," Ac. 5 male, 3 female characters. 

THE GLASS OP FASHION. An original com- 
edy h) 4 Acts by Sytinky Gbundy, author of "Sowing 
the Wind," Ac. 5 male. B female characters. 



THE BALLOON. Farcical comedy in 8 Acta ky J. 

H. DiiRNi.EY and Manvillb Fbnn. 6 male, 4 feiMle 

characters. 
MISS CLEOPATRA. Farce In 3 Acts by Akthu* 

Shiblby. 7 male, 3 female characters. 
SIX PERSONS. Comedy Act by I. Zasowill. 

1 male, 1 female character. 
FASHIONABLE INTELLIGENCE. Comedi- 
etta in 1 Act by Pbbcy Fendall. 1 male, I female 

character. 
HIGHLAND LEGACY. Comedy In 1 Ac» bv 

Brandon Thom*8, author of "Charley's Aaat." 

5 male, 2 female characters. 



Contents of Catalogue which is sent Free. 



Amateur Drama 

Amateur Operas 

Articles Needed by Amateurs 

Art of Scene Painting 

Baker"! Reading Club 

Beards, Whiskers, Mustaches, etc. 

Bound Sets of Plays 

Bulwer Lytton's Plays 

Burlesque Dramas 

Burnt Cork 

Cabman's Story 

Carnival of Authorj 

Charade Plavs 

Children's Plavs 

Comic Dramas for Male Characters 

onlv 
Costume Books 
Crape Hair 
Cumberland Edition 
Darkey Dramas 
r>ramas for Boys 
Drawing-room Monologues 
Elocution, Reciters and Speakers 
Ethiopian Dramas 



Evening's Entertainment 

Fairy and Home Plays 

French's Costumes 

French's Editions 

French's Italian Oper.is 

French's Parlor Comedies 

French's Standard and Minor Drama 

French's Standard and Minor Drama, 

bound 
French's Scenes for Amateurs 
Frobisher's Popular Recitals 
Grand Army Dramas 
Guide Books for Amiiteurs 
Guide to Selecting Plays 
Hints on Costumes 
Home Plays for Ladies 
Irish Plavs 
Irving's t'lays 
Juvenile Plavs 
Make-Up Book 
Make-Up Box 
Mock Trial 

Mrs. Jarley'i Wax Works 
New Pl.tys 



New Recitation Books 

Nigger Jokes and Stump Spaeckes 

Parlor Magic 

Parlor Pantomimes 

Pieces of Pleasantry 

Poems for Recitations 

Plays for Male Characters oaJy 

Round Games 

Scenery 

Scriptural and Historical Dnumu 

Sensation Dramas 

Serio-Comic Dramas 

Shadow Pantomimes 

Shake«peare's Plays for Amftt««rs 

Shakespeare's Plays 

Stanley's Dwnrfs 

Spirit Gum 

Tableaux Vivants 

Talma Actor's Art 

Temperance Plays 

Vocal Music of Shakespeara's Plays 

Webster's Acting Editioa 

Wigs, etc. 



{French's Minor Drama Continued from 4th page of Cover.) 



I Love 
[Letter 



VOL. XLT 

321 Adventures of 

3S2 1 ost Child 

323 Conrt Cards 

824 Cox and Box 

325 Fortv Winks 

396 Wonderful Wom»» 

327 Curious Case 

328 Tweedleton's Tail Coat 



VOL. XLH. 
.■?29 As Like as Two Peas 

330 Presumptive Evidence 

331 Happy Band 
.^■?2 Pinafore 
333 Mock Trial 

.S.34 My Uncle's Will 
335 Happv ''a'r 
330 My Turn Next 



VOL. XLHL 
337 Sunset 

S.'iS For Half aMniion 
339 C.ble Car 
;un Early Bird 
.Ul Alumni Play 
342 Show of Hands 
;U3 Barbara 
344 Who's Who 



VOL. XLTV. 
346 Who'8 To Win Him 

346 Which is Which 

347 Cup of Tea 

348 Sarah's Young Man 

349 Hearts 

360 In Honor Bound [IJkW 

361 Frttilng a Motbar-io- 

362 My Lord In Llrery 



SAMUEL FRENCH, 26 West 22d St., New York City. 



New and Explicit Descriptive Catalo8:ue Mailed Free on Request. 



FKKJVCH S MINUK DKAMA. 



Price 15 Cents each. 



•ep- 



VOL. I. 

1 Tke Irish Attorney 

2 Boot* at the Swan 

3 How to Pay the Rent 

4 The Loan of a Lover 

6 The Dead Shot 
C Hie Last Lesrs 

7 The [nvisible Prince 

8 Th* Gol.ien Farmer 

VOL. II. 
9 1'ride of the Market 

10 Used Up 

11 The Irish Tutor 

12 The Barrack Room 

13 Luke the Laborer 

14 Beauty and the Beast 

15 St. Patrick's Eve 

16 Captain of the Watch 

VOL. ilL 

17 The Secret IJP 

18 White Horse of the Pi 
1 J The Jacobite 

20 The Bottle 

21 Box and Cox 
?2 Banihoozliug 

23 Widow's Victiia 

24 Robert Macaire 

. VOL. IV. 
95 Secret Service 
26 Omnibus 

57 Irish Lion 

28 Maid of Croissy 

29 The Old Guard 

30 Raising the Wind 

31 Slasher and Crasher 

32 Naval Engagements 

VOL. V. 

33 Cocknies in California 

34 Who Speaks First 
36 Bombastes Furioso 

36 Macbeth Travestie 

37 friah A.mbassndor 

38 Delicate Ground 

39 The Weathercock [Gold 

40 All that Glitters is Not 

VOL. VI. 

41 Qrimshaw, Bagshaw and 

Bradihaw 
*2 Rough Diamond 

43 Bloomer Costume 

44 Two Bonnycastles 
*5 Born to Good Luck 

16 Kiss in the Dark O"''*^'' 
47 'Twould Puzzle a Con- 
t8 Kill or Cure 

VOL. VH. 

49 Box and Cox Married and 

50 St. Cupid [Settled 
.M Go-to-bed Tom 

52 The Lawyers 

53 .Jack Sheppard 

54 The Toodles 
^F, The Mobcap 
6» Ladies Beware 

VOL. VIIL 
bl Morning Call 

58 Popping the Questioi 

59 Deaf as a Post 

60 New F.Kitiaan 

61 Pleapant N''ighbor 

62 Paddv the Piper 

63 Brian" O' Lin a 

64 Irish Assurance 

VOL. IX. 
65Temptalinn 

66 Paddv Carey 

67 Two Gregories 

68 King Charming 

69 Po-ca-hon-tas 

70 Clockm.aker's Hat 

71 Married Rake 

72 L«ve and Murder 

VOL. X. 

73 Ireland and America 

74 Prettv Piece of Business 

75 Irish i^oom-inaker 

76 To Paris and Ba 

Five Pounds 

77 That Blessed Baby 

78 Our G.al 

79 Swiss Cottage 
89 Young Widow 



for 



VOL. XI. 

81 O'Flannigan and the F 

82 Irish Post [r 

83 My Neighbor'* Wife 

84 Irish Tiger 

85 P. P., or Man and Tig 
h6 To Oblige B^nton 

87 State Secrets 

88 Irish Yankee 

VOL. XIL 

89 A Good Fellow 

90 Cherry and Fair Star 

91 Gale Breerely 

92 Our Jemimy 

93 Miller's Maid 
94Awkward Arrival 

95 Crossing the Line 

96 Conjngal Lesson 

VOL. xin. 

97 My Wife's Mirror 
9S Life in New York 
99 Middy Ashore 

00 Crown Prince 

101 Two Que^-ns 

102 Thumping Legacy 

103 Unfinished U'-utlem an 

104 House Dog 

VOL. XIV. 

105 The Demon Lover 

106 Matrimony 

107 In and Out of Place 

108 I Dine with My Mother 
09 Hi-a-wa-tha 

110 Andy Blake 

111 Love in '76 [tie- 

12 Romance under Difficul- 

VOL. XV. 

13 One Coat for 2 Suits 

114 A Decided Case 

115 Daughter [no rity 

116 No Tor, the Glorious M'i- 

17 Coroner's Inquisition 

18 Love in Humble Life 

119 Family .Tars 

120 Personation 

VOL. XVL 
21 Children in the Wood 

122 Winning a Husband 
23 Day After the Fair 

124 Maki Your Wills 

25 Rendezvous 

26 My Wife's Husband 

27 Monsieur Tonson 

28 Illustrious Stranger 

VOL. XVII. 

29 Mischief-Making [Mi nes 

30 A Live Woman in the 

31 The Corsair 

32 Shylock 

.■53 Spoiled Child 
■M 1£\'11 Eye 
35 Vothing to Nurse 
136 Wanted a Widow 
VOL. XVIIL 
37 Lottery Ticket 
.38 Fortune's Frolic 

139 Is he .Jealous? 

140 Married Bachelor 

141 Husband at .Sight 

42 Irishman in London 

43 Ani iiai Magrjeti'sm 

44 Highwavs and By-W ays 

VOL. XIX. 

45 Columbus 

16 Harlequin Bluebeard 
47 Ladies at Home 
148 Phenomenon in a Smock 
Frock 

49 Comedy an(J Tragedy 

50 Opposite ^^eighbors 
151 Dutchman's Ghost 

52 Persecuted Dutchman 

VOL. XX. 

53 Musard Ball 

54 Great Tragic Revival 

56 High Low Jack & Game 

156 A Gentleman from Ire- 

157 Tom and Jerry [land 

158 Village Lawyer 

59 Captain's not A-miss 

60 Amateurs and Acto 



LIBRARY OF CONGRESS 

fill 




ixy [Pi 
Milki! 
di( 

014 432 993 4 % |' 



lOne 



170 1-liram Mireeui 

171 Double-Bedded Room 

172 The Drama Defended 

173 Vermont Wool Dealer 

174 Ebeneier Venture [ter 

175 Principles from Charac 

176 Lady of the Lake (Trav) 

tOL. XXUl. 

177 Mad Dogs 

178 B.^rney tlie Bnron 

179 Swiss Swains 

180 Bachelor's Bedroom 

181 A Rol.and for an Oli 

182 .More Blunders th 

183 Dumb Belle 
1^4 Liuif-rick boy 

VOL. XXIV. 

185 Nature and Philosophy 

186 Teddy the Tiler 

187 Spectre Bridegroom 

188 Matteo Falcone • 

189 Jenny Lind 

190 Two'Buz.zards 

191 Happy Man 

192 Betsy Baker 

VOL. XXV. 

193 No. 1 Round the Corner 

194 Teddy Roe 

195 Object of Interest 

196 My Fellow Clerk 

197 Bengal Tiger 

198 Laughing Hyena 

199 The Victor Vanquished 

200 Our Wife 

VOL. XXVI. 

201 My Husband's Mirror 

202 Yankee Land 

203 Norah Creina 

204 Good for Nothing 

205 The First Night 

206 The Eton Boy 

207 Wandering Minstrel 

208 Wanted, lOOO Milliners 
VOL. XXVll. 

Poor Pilcoddy 
?10 The Mum.ny [Glassei 

211 Don't Forgft your Opera 

212 Love in Livery 
■J 13 Anthnnv and Cleopatra 
•.'14 Tr\ingh On 

215 Stage Stnn-k Yankee 

216 Young Wife A Old Um- 

brella 

VOL. xxvin. 

217 Crinoline 

218 A Family Failing 
9 Adopted rhild 

220 Turned Heads 

221 A Match in the Dart 

222 Advice to Husbands 

223 Siamese Twins 

224 Sent to the Tower 

VOL. XXIX. 

225 Somebody Flse 
2 '6 Ladies' Battle 

227 Art of Acting 

228 The Lady of the Lions 

229 The RichU of Man 

230 My Husband's Ghost 

231 Two Can Play at that 
Game 

232 Fighting bv Proxy 

VOL. "XXX. 

233 Unprotected Female 
2,34 Pet of the Petticoats 

235 Forty and Fifty [book 

236 Who Stole the Pocket- 
37 My Son Diana [sion 

238 Unw.arrantable Intru- 

Mr. and Mrs. White 
240 A Quiet Family 



(French's Minor Drama Continued on fd page of Cover.) 



^DUTTUt. to r«urse 

251 A Lucky Hit 

252 The Dowager 

253 Metamora (Burlesque) 

254 Dreams of Delusion 

255 The Shaker Lovers 

256 Ticklish "..nes 
VOL. IxXIIL 

.'57 20 Minutes with a Tiger 

258 Miralda ; or, the Justice 
of Tacon 

259 A Soldier's Courtship 

260 Servants by Legacy 

261 Dying for Love 

262 Alarming Sacrifice 

263 Valet de Sham 

264 Nicholas Mckleby 

VOL. xxxiv; 

265 The Last of the Pigtails 

266 King Rene's Daughter 

267 The Grotto Nymph 

268 A Devilish Good Joke 

269 A Twice Told Tale 

270 Pas de Fascination 
^71 Revolutionary Soldier 

272 A Man Without a Head 
VOL, XXXV. 

273 The Olio, Part 1 

274 Tne Olio, Part 2 

275 The Olio, Part 3 [ter 

276 The Trumpeter's Daugh- 

277 Seeing Warren 

278 Green Mountain Boy 

279 That Nose 

280 Tom Noddy's Secret 
VOL. XXXVL 

281 Shocking Events 

282 A Regular Fix 

283 Dick 'J'urpin 

284 Young Sc imp 

285 Young Actress 
2.^6 Call at No. 1—7 
2><7 One Touch of Nature 
■iHii Two B'hoys 

VOL. XXXVII. 
289 All the World's a Stage 
V90 Quash, or Nigger Prac- 

291 Turn Him Out [tice 

292 Pretty Girls of StiUberg 

293 Angel of the Attic 

294 Circumstancesalter Cases 
296 Katty 0'.Sheal 
296 A Supper in Dixie 

VOL. XXXVIIL 
i^t Tci on> Parle Francais 

298 Who Killed Cock Robin 

299 Declaration of Independ- 

300 Heads or Tails [enqe 

301 Obstinate Family 

302 My Aunt 

303 That Rascal Pat 

304 Don Paddy de Bazan 
VOL. XXXIX. [ture 

305 Too Much for Good Na- 

306 Cure for the Fidgets 
.307 Jack's the Lad 

308 MuchAdoAboutNothing 

309 Artful Dodsrer 

310 Wiiming Hazard 

311 Day's Fishing [Ac . 

312 Did you ever send your, 
VOL. XL. 

313 An Irishman's Maneurer 

314 Cousin Fannie 

31 5 'Tis the Darkest Hourbe- 

316 Masquerade [fore Dawn 

317 Crowding the Season 

318 Good Night's Rest 

319 Man with the Carpet Bag 

320 Terrible Tinker 



SAMUEL FRENCH 26 West 22d Street. New York City. 

New and Explicit Descriptive Catalogfue Mailed Free on Kequest. 



